Brier Eileen For The Cats

If you can’t grow wings and all that shit, just listen to what they do. It works. Male loneliness is nonsense. Have dinner with your bestie once a week, finance your girl’s smut addiction, and listen while she does, and learn. It’s not even hard. They’re called feelings, acknowledge them and ya 😏

I made him start listening to the smut and he learned. Highly recommend this tactic. You will thank me.

Also it will be like with everything else, they pretend they don’t care and then suddenly they’re invested in the story.

Just trust me on this one.

So my name is in ACOTAR. Book 3 has so far utterly destroyed me. I keep scream crying at @greensummer8.bsky.social while he reminds me he’s playing Final Fantasy and leave him alone. I don’t care. I have emotions. And I will continue this behavior.

Sometimes I yell at my husband who is specifically like a white straight man with all the privilege in the world (he knows) and it doesn’t make feel better, but it also does.

Thing uttered under his breath while playing video games: Ugh you fucking bitch.

What I utter my breath while playing video games: well, that was rude.

“I hope you die from the iguana with no eyes” and other loving things I say to my husband while he’s not doing great in his new game.

If he speaks to me one more time while I’m listening to this book. I swear to Cthulhu

Update: my husband is at work again but he’s getting updates on the book. Which he didn’t ask for or actually wants. But he’s definitely fine with me listening to it.

I started #ACOTAR on audiobook when I’ve already been drinking and my husband has gone to bed because he has to work tomorrow (I don’t). I get the feeling already that this was a bad idea.

On second thought, I suppose this could have been #Elon

I’m pretty sure I just watch the Caps at this point to feel something. It’s not a good feeling. But it’s something? Idk.

I was already beyond disillusioned with the #DNC but I can promise, they’ll never get another dime from me.

Listen. I love him cuz he annoys me with his love. But I didn’t ask to be attracted to men.

Why doesn’t anyone want to impress Jodie Foster anymore?

He plays all games before me to watch me suffer. Also to watch me get annoyed and thrust my controller at him and say waaah I was just a poor child who never had video games, do it for me.

And it works. I hate the puzzles.

When I say “eat the rich,” I mean even the cool ones. Like we’ll eat Mark Cuban last but it still must be done.

We live in an unserious place at an unserious time.

In case you hadn't noticed:

Nothing like relieving my stress about the state of the nation by watching hockey. Which is about as relaxing as an MRI.

If I had to meet JD Vance I would also simply pass away immediately afterwards.

This is a Wendy’s doesn’t need to apologize to Katy Perry household.

I’m almost 34, failed out of 2 colleges, hold exactly zero degrees beyond a HS diploma (where is that btw?), and I have a firmer grasp on the constitution than half the population around my own age. This is a bad sign.

Every week #LovettOrLeaveIt goes off the rails and I honestly think it’s the only thing keeping me alive at this point.

Defenders of all the tariff bs all have gone so far right they’ve arrived at communism and not only does this not make much sense to me in the American political context (like how the left gets called communist constantly) but also Karl Marx is probably kicking in his grave now not just rolling

When @eringloriaryan.bsky.social called JD Vance “manly man man” I legit spit food all over my desk. Which is unfortunate for me because I already had to clean up Diet Coke after Tommy called Stephen Miller a “sentient vampire penis” on Pod Save the World @crooked.com you’re killing it and me.

“Hold on, I forgot I had to fight a dragon” and other things that could be said while gaming or reading.

This one time I went to a funeral in my home town and I introduced Brian to arch nemesis and afterwards his opinion was “I mean, she’s not even cute.” Which is the correct response because he is a wise man.

Quiet car can be a difficult concept on #Amtrak, but really it just means shut all the way the fuck up or I will throw my shoes at you.

I’ve been feeling weird about turning 34 cuz like mid-30s aaaahhh but this morning I was asked for help by a college kid get back to where she needed to be after missing her stop because I looked like a safe person. Yes. This. #womensupportingwomen