Just an Average, Everyday Sicko

Almost cried actual tears of joy hearing the first “BEER, BEER, BEER, BEEEEER” of the baseball season.

Anyone know where I can buy stock options in Etnies and DCs? Asking for a friend.

“…what?” a bewildered bartender asks me after I order 2 shots of Vicks NyQuil Severe Cold & Flu Cough Syrup

Also really gotta imagine those same people are really hating the fact that politics is being interjected into the Olympics!

Man, I imagine the anti-cancel culture people are reacting to the players who didn’t go to the White House thoughtfully and rationally!

Surely they aren’t hypocritical!

"You be the judge of who was the better military force was,” a dejected Persian general states after losing to 300 Spartans

As called on CBC in Canada:

Ah man this got a tear out of me

Someone’s gotta stop cutting mf onions in here wtf

I’m so proud of these dudes whose social media content I will never, ever check

YOU CAN HAVE THE FOUR NATIONS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ITS TIME TO PARTY LIKE ITS 1980!!!!!!

GOLDEN GOALLLLLL

Hockey should probably be a controlled substance

HOW HOW HOW

How does he even save that lmaoo

Also, gonna be so funny and not-at-all-ironic when he talks about “NIL corrupting the system”

“Listen, we don’t even talk about politics so it’s fine” is a wild thing to insinuate about a guy that’s only coming on your show to distract from his name being on a certain list lol

MILAN, ITALY - FEBRUARY 19: (EDITOR'S NOTE: Image was captured using a remote camera positioned above the field of play.) Megan Keller #5 of Team United States scores the game winning goal in overtime against Claire Thompson #42 and Ann-Renee Desbiens #35 of Team Canada to win the gold medal during the Women's Gold Medal match between the United States and Canada on day 13 of the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympic games at Milano Santagiulia Ice Hockey Arena on February 19, 2026 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images)

put it in the Louvre

Such an underrated visual is seeing the trainers and equipment staff celebrating an OT hockey goal lol. Such raw emotion, it’s so amazing

Megan Keller broke their ankles and ripped their hearts out so it's pretty nice that they can go to the doctor for free

They’re prob still in the second period

KELLER THE KILLER

GOLDEN GOALLLL

PLAY MF FREE BIRD HAHAHAHAHAHA

Gotta love the baiting of a reporter, gaslighting of said reporter, and then unironically stating that “everyone can see you” being a jerk when it is, in fact, YOU being the weirdo here lol

Desperately need a WCBB video game.

Taking Niagara to the promised land would be more rewarding than anything I’ve done in my long, illustrious sports video game career.

“Pay $50, get $300 worth of bets only on ESPN sportsbook-“

SHUT UP I DONT CARE, JUST SHOW ME THE MOUNT ST MARY’S BASKETBALL SCORE FFS

Ok Apple’s Sports app may just be the best sports app on the market for the simple reason that it JUST shows the scores

Morbidly funny that whenever some legislators wanna introduce bills on anti-insider trading or monopoly legislation, a certain group of them will say “this shouldn’t be prioritizing our time. We should be focusing on other stuff”

Only for that other stuff to be this shit lol