lalalyds

It's only been just a few minutes but I'm already thinking underground cities and the necessary advantageous evolutions to make it down here, so far down. No it did not hurt when I fell from heaven you angel, I landed like a half-cat half-lizard

Forget Ralph Lauren Christmas. I’m doing Home Alone Christmas.

💯 beeswax Frankenstein ornament https://kitchentableworks.etsy.com

Skull and ghost candles flanked by autumnal ornaments 💯 beeswax

💯 beeswax Halloween candles

An owl candle made from 💯 beeswax

Beeswax? More like BOOswax kitchentableworks.etsy.com

does something human

*ugh, so embarrassing

in my stevie nicks era for the fourth decade in a row

No.

~me, being concise

Guys.

I've seen a lot of butts this month.

Seeing videos of ppl saying “ma ah” to their cats and im SOSOOO jealous. Plz say “ma ah” to your cats for me

I’d like to know your night—even if it takes all day

Pooping is a scam perpetuated by big toilet paper.

In the darkest hour, I remind myself things that are always true are still true- like I'm gonna stub my toe on the way to the light

*Slides note across your desk* do you wanna disappear into the Mariana Trench circle Y or N

How can we be so sure Sade is human? Sade feels like a feeling. Sade is satin on your skin and there’s just no way she poops

You can't force people to like you but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try

"I never know what to do with my hands" I mutter to myself, trying to fit my hand collection in an undersized box

Adding flying buttresses to my house to make it a mobile home

My friend got hurt on the job as a pastry chef in an Italian cafe.

We cannoli hope he’ll be ok.

trying to cheer up the live lobsters in the lobster tank by loudly singing rock lobster

Calm down shouty man, this isn't my toddler's first neck tattoo.

this life crisis is mid

that awkward moment when you absentmindedly put your ankles on the gyno’s shoulders during your pap

if you think my posts are bad you should see the stuff in my drafts that i’ve spared you from

IDK man; I’m just following the music

Need help raising the dead? Bring them to the latest in nightcare: Ghouls and Boos Slaytime School. We have competitive weekly wraiths.

Honestly, my life is just a series of “what was I saying?” moments held together by snacks and beer.

I’ll just migrate from my chair to my bed. That’s enough platform hopping for today.

*shows you something lame*
pretty cool huh?

I don't know who needs to hear this but we're all DEVO

let ur skeleton out to do a little dance

The Girl With the Stick-On Tattoo