lalalyds

😂😂❤️

Thanks!

😂😂😂 perfect

Oh for sure

The last windbreaker I got was with Marlboro miles.

The failure of my last skeet tells me all I need to know about bsky

Two, four, six, eight, how do we dissociate?

Carpe PM because sleep is important.

You can treat my face like a Jackson Pollock if you wanna

Don't blow smoke up my ass on a Monday and call it a Tuesday.

Looking for a genie to turn me into my wife's phone so I can be held all day while getting tummy rubs.

traffic should just move faster

Five secretions to get to know me by:

I would love to throw some fake fruit at you

🤭

You can treat my face like a Jackson Pollock if you wanna

Saturn without its rings asking everything what it really thinks about Saturn and you still pretend to laugh at all my witty gazes in the planetarium

Kraft cheese is single ply

i read my 6yo niece some of your skeets and she said your jokes are mid and need more poop

never underestimate a good drum beat enhancing overall mood

Probably should've laid off those edibles before I did my own taxes.

A side note however...I'm getting back twelve and a half million dollars.

Have the kind of sex where you have to buy a new house.

People have been insane for a long long time

What the hell time is it even anyway

Hold on, I need time to go back home and cover myself in egg yolk before I can go out again.

My violin is an old friend I can always count on to help me feel better

One time when I won a writing contest my daughter said, “Look at you Anne of Green Gables” and it remains my favorite compliment ever.

If someone that claims to be a lion turns around & calls you a sheep I hope you turn around & tell em Jesus was a lamb bro

One day at this very moment everything will now be something else very pizzazz entirely and I do not know what anything means so if this is it just define pizzazz