the Morally Corrupt Martini Mami

i’m calling CPS the next time i see a baby at a winery or brewery.

Such a perfect example of Pundit Brain at work: Harper says he always knew Trump was lying about being the peace candidate — but still turned that into criticism of Harris.

Remembering Herman Cain calling COVID a hoax and then COVID being the thing that took him out.

never in the history of ever, has a monroe piercing not looked tacky.

Report: Oh, Fuck Yeah, Egg Yolk Dripping All Over Sandwich

Report: Oh, Fuck Yeah, Egg Yolk Dripping All Over Sandwich https://theonion.com/report-oh-fuck-yeah-egg-yolk-dripping-all-over-sandw-1819579733/

signing up to be hazed by a fraternity feels like such loser behavior.

it was amazing! it made me want to go to another concert 😭😭

No, Cynthia Nixon caused a sensation by appearing in The Real Thing and Hurlyburly at the same time and commuting between them on her bicycle.

What Nick Shirley caused was people getting killed.

Please make a note of it.

Philly DA Larry Krasner says ‘don’t be a wimp’ after Gov. Josh Shapiro decried his comparison of ICE agents to Nazis

Gov. Josh Shapiro called District Attorney Larry Krasner's comparison of ICE agents to Nazis "abhorrent." Krasner responded that Shapiro is "not meeting the moment."

people who complain about passengers that recline their seats on the airplane, why don’t you just fly on a budget airline? problem solved.

at this point when I say I want a child-free man, that means no pets either.

i’m so happy for Benito 🥹🥹

Macaulay Culkin pays tribute to ‘Home Alone’ mom Catherine O'Hara:

“Mama. I thought we had time. I wanted more. I wanted to sit in a chair next to you. I heard you but I had so much more to say. I love you. l'Il see you later.”

struggling to figure out why this particular celebrity death is affecting me. I’m not usually the kind of person who mourns celebrities but this one is genuinely heartbreaking.

this doesn’t make sense. she should have been with us so much longer. 😔💔

Explain to me why your god keeps taking everyone except the people that need to be taken.

71 feels so young

god, this year sucks so bad already

idk if it’s the constant horrors or what but catherine o’hara dying at just 71 years old is hitting me like a ton of bricks 😭😩😭😩😭😩

not Catherine O’Hara 🥺💔

a cartoon smiley face with a big smile on its face and a big mouth . ALT: a cartoon smiley face with a big smile on its face and a big mouth .

finishing another gloriously camp episode of The Traitors before finding out what the internet is going to be irrationally angry about for the next week straight #TheTraitorsUS

Maybe he can fix RHOBH next. #TheTraitorsUS

a woman wearing sunglasses and a fur coat is standing in front of a building . ALT: a woman wearing sunglasses and a fur coat is standing in front of a building .

Rob deserves this win, he truly does... but does he really HAVE to drag Colton to the end? #TheTraitorsUS

if I was at that round table, I would’ve voted for Natalie based on her terrible fashions alone. #TheTraitorsUS

i looked up from my phone and was like, what is this dagger business? 💀💀

one of my favorite things about #TheTraitorsUs is that I have built in phone scrolling time during the challenges

you couldn’t pay me to go on a cruise.

abolishing isn’t enough.