Jesse Shade

Tracy Chapman checking out a hot guy by the pool: "Body's too young to look like *HIS*!"

Oscars prediction: all of this shame over Greta Gerwig being snubbed for Best Director will lead to her and Noah Baumbach winning for Best Adapted Screenplay. (And as someone who's also loved Baumbach since Life Aquatic and Squid & The Whale, I'm for it.) #barbie

I started the new year right with Amazon's sale on 3 4K Blu-rays for $40, and ended up buying one of my favorite Batman movies, one of my favorite Hitchcock movies, and what is slowly becoming one of my favorite Spielberg movies.

Opening line of AVENGERS: THE KANG DYNASTY:
"Somehow... Kang has disappeared. And according to what Wolverine and She-Hulk told me off-screen, he went to the Something-Or-Other Realm and is never coming back. Never. EVER. He was just a dream. A horrible, horrible dream."

Joe Biden's statement about Henry Kissinger's death:

Elon Musk's wardrobe and cocaine provided by John Belushi from the Steven Spielberg film 1941.

Alternate ending for KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON:
Scorsese walks up to microphone and says...
"Everything sucks.

Stop yelling.

This wasn't my decision to make."

Looks into camera. Pause.

Thank you to the Amazon delivery man who gave me my #Oppenheimer 4K disc a day early. Prepared to relive the funniest laugh riot of the summer!

If you know of any AI background actors in your friends or family, check on them. They're probably taking the SAG-AFTRA news the hardest of all.

Tobe Hooper's THE FUNHOUSE is a great little thriller I caught on TV the other night. I particularly adore the ending. The fat lady laughing at the escaped final girl, an inverse of the TEXAS CHAINSAW ending, her laugh slowly distorting... now that's how you end a horror flick.

1973: Martin Scorsese, age 31, opens his first big studio movie in the same fall as THE EXORCIST.
2023: Scorsese, age 81, opens his next big studio movie in the same fall as THE EXORCIST's latest underwhelming sequel, THE EXORCIST v TAYLOR SWIFT.
He was right about cinema after all...

Me finding out that KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON is coming to my local movie theater:

Wouldn't it have been awesome in OPPENHEIMER if they pulled back from the last shot of the bombs going off to reveal that it's on the same Earth from the Universal logo at the start of the movie?

From that THR article on the TV mess over at Marvel:
"Jessica Gao’s postproduction work on She-Hulk helped Marvel see it'd be helpful for its shows to have a creative thru-line from start to finish."
As an unashamed SHE-HULK fan, I'm feeling vindicated today.

I am now greatly amused by the idea of William Friedkin's angry spirit now haunting David Gordon Green for the rest of his days after the reception to EXORCIST: BELIEVER, in the style of a wacky buddy comedy...

more like THE EXORCIST...
...
...
...
BELABOR.

I haven't seen a man named Kevin McCarthy be this comedically humiliated since the ending of "Weird Al" Yankovic's UHF.

While Sylvester Stallone’s latest sequel Expend4bles may have been a letdown for the Italian Stallion, Awfully Good Movies is putting on a headband and spand... Staying Alive: Stallone's Awfully Good Sequel to Saturday Night Fever

#AwfullyGoodMovies celebrates 40 years of #SylvesterStallone's SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER sequel starring #JohnTravolta and his tightly spandexed crotch on the Broadway stage: STAYING ALIVE!
youtu.be/NdVCWY6KsPg?...

I'm no Swiftie, but if Taylor Swift is gonna be in Deadpool 3, that shit will keep the MCU alive until the heat death of the universe. She could be twerking with She-Hulk and Wolverine on Tony Stark's grave while Scorsese weeps, and that shit will still crack a billion.

I L I K E S A N T A .
I L I K E T H E W I Z A R D O F O Z .
I L I K E T H E T I N M A N.

this guy still blows monkey ass.
but congrats wga.
striking matters, voting matters, life matters, IT ALL MATTERS.
stop letting the David Zaslavs of the world telling you otherwise.
as a lifelong film fan, thanks to those who'll preserve this artform.
#WGAStrong

Still have half hour left of #TheaterCamp on Hulu, but as a theater graduate, this flick is the tits. Lke something I would've recorded on Comedy Central in 2000 when I was sick from school. A modern day WAITING FOR GUFFMAN that deserves its inevitable cult audience.

Can my local movie theater do anything right?!? #Expend4bles

Can't help but notice the poster and trailer for EXPEND4BLES don't agree as to whether Stallone is 2nd billed or final billed.
Also, With Garcia sounds like Andy Garcia's loser folk rock brother who still sells his music on CD-Rs.

If you're friends with the Golden Age of P, well then you're friends with the Golden Age of Me

I only want Marvel movies to be good so people can stop blaming them for every ill in the world. It's fine to be disenchanted with any pop culture franchise 10+ years in, but people act like THE MARVELS being a successful movie people might like is equivalent to a 2nd Trump term.

If Tarantino is getting Travolta for his final movie, I can't wait. Scientology be damned, Travolta is a star for a reason, and after all the tragedy in his life lately, Tarantino's just the guy to give him a part that isn't direct-to-Redbox trash for once. A beautiful cap to both their careers.

I'm so fucking thankful we never got that Drop Dead Fred remake with Russell Brand. I'm embarrassed at myself for thinking that'd be a good idea in the first place. Rik Mayall deservedly got the last laugh from beyond the grave.

Next week on THE DREW BARRYMORE SHOW:
MONDAY: Hasan Minhaj
TUESDAY: Jonathan Majors
WEDNESDAY: Russell Brand
THURSDAY: David Zaslav, Bob Iger & Ted Sarandos
FRIDAY: SERIES FINALE with Chevy Chase and James Corden

I thought there wouldn't be a voice on WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS funnier than that of Matt Berry as Laszlo, but Dog Guillermo makes me giggle uncontrollably every time he speaks. Great season this year, long may it run.