.

Nah he's right.

10 times out of 10, "Americans" means United States citizens. That's the undeniable connotation of the word and it has nothing to do with Geographic Technicalities.

Ask a Canadian if they are American and surely, especially now, they'll say "no, I'm Canadian"

There is no lower form of quipperage than to take a hyperbole literally.

If iPhone sales dropped 35%, no one would go "errm actually I have one" about an article called "Why is no one buying iPhones anymore?"

But it's fun to humiliate people about sex stuff so, this time, no one questioned it.

Maybe the reason I get so much second-hand embarrassment when I see posts like this (where some guy is willfully misinterpreting media in an attempt to humiliate the author for no good reason) is that, as a former internet funnyman critic, I used to do it all the time, and I really regret that.

Facts about English as a tricky language. Each box has it's own short fact. From top left to bottom right: 'English is the only language where you can drive on driveways. It’s also the only language where you can walk on walkways.' 'Your fingers have fingertips and your toes have toetips. You can ‘tiptoe’ and reach high up objects with your ‘fingertips’.' 'The word Queue is Q followed by four letters.' 'You can be a jailer in prison, but you can’t be a prisoner in jail.' 'When you transport something by car, the ‘car’ ‘go’. but when you transport something by ship, it’s called a shipment.'

English is a strange language.

I think I'm the only person who monitors the Spotify charts closely enough to notice a potentially huge single rising up the charts, it's almost in the top 50 and I'm curious to see how far it can go. Can find nothing about the artist, White Noise Radiance, I don't get how there's so little coverage

But that's perfect! Think about it, you use the spare egg whites to make the souffle, you crack open 4 new eggs and separate the yolks to finish the souffle, and then you have 4 spare egg whites you can use later to make another souffle!

Me typing “if i ate 36 peeps would it give me diarrhea” into Google and Google asking if I meant “if i ate 36 people would it give me diarrhea” instead.

No, Google, I did not mean that.

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

Never thought I'd hear a commercialism I hated more than Burger King calling eating food a "hunger hack," but that does it.

this is why you should *never* hit someone with an rpg. it’s dangerous, it’s shitty, and it’s wrong

Good to see Billie Eilish finally win one

The funniest thing about this, to me, is that this is Kentucky.

Most of their districts would be brick red no matter how they shaped em and yet they still chose to do this. They wanted to make it look like that. No plotting, no strategy, it's coming straight from the heart.

lmao

Reading Reddit posts makes me feel insane now. There'll just a certain tone that feels Off, Somehow. And then they'll say something like this and suddenly I'm like Oh.. Oh Okay. Yeah, No Human Would Ever Put That In Quotes. But I can never be SURE I'm right. Maybe this person's just weird?

Something I've noticed about AI LLM casual text that I don't know if anyone else has pointed out: redudnant use of quotations.

ChatGPT doesn't quite get metaphors, so it puts quotes around figurative text all the time.

Shit like: if the ground looks "wet," it might be black ice

I find it funny that Todd consistently calls it "moonbeam daydream," like his brain is in self defense mode, forcing him to remember a slightly better version of the lyric

"Squidward torture porn"

Ok some of you guys gotta pick a different hate name than Trumpstein

I know it's supposed to be an Epstein thing but it Does Not Hit the Ears Comfortably

DID SOMEONE ORDER A PACKAGE FROM AMAZON?

Unfortunately, due to inflation, the song goes "Heads North Carolina, Tails South Carolina" now. Tragic, but not much can be done.

This kind of thing does point out a real ethical dilemma: block or mute?

As an autistic man I have been told this one is called "active listening"

Manflopping

In case anyone wanted Lewis Capaldi updates, he's doing BetterHelp ads now.

A BAT CREDIT CARD?!?!?! YOU BASTARDS, ILL KILL YOU ALL OF YOU WILL DIE OYU WILL BURN IN HELL

Just realized "you got me kissin' thе ground of your sanctuary" was probably Alex Warren's attempt at a double entendre about eating pussy

2026 music predictions

farther/further is an annoying word because it's got two spellings but neither of them look quite right