Koh The Nutt Stealer

a cartoon character named stewie from family guy is standing in a room ALT: a cartoon character named stewie from family guy is standing in a room

Pretty sure I lost a piece of jewelry that’s pretty important to me. I would have bet anything and everything that it was in a lock box I have, but when I went to get it out to wear it, it wasn’t in there. And I have no idea where else it could be. I’m fucking losing it.

For every AI account I block, 10 more take its place. They’re like roaches, or gnats at a damn BBQ.

Was craving ramen so I ordered some, and it’s delicious. They had sushi on the menu so I ordered some and it’s disgusting. Will never order sushi from this place again. This sushi reminds me of my first sushi experience which is why I hated it for YEARS.

Dear [remaining] Allied Countries,

We The People of the US would have absolutely no issue if you came in and “handled” this administration however you see fit. We would actually cheer and support any approach, especially if it ends with him and all of them… you know…🪦

Firmly grasp it!

I would like to be held. I deserve cuddles and affection.

Lmao seriously. Just another memento lol

Y’all… so I just heard myself talking in a video and actually liked the sound of my voice. I was like, “Damn, who is THAT?!” I’ve hated the sound of my [recorded] voice my whole life up to this point. Maybe it’s because I’m older now and I’m hearing “grown” me? Idk.

Dear Skeet Ulrich,

I JUST found the Sharpie you autographed my photo with. Sorry that I “stole” this from you at LA Comic Con lol I’ll bring it with me to the next Con I see you at just so that I can return it to you 😂😂😂😂

It’s Friday, it’s Friday, pull them dicks out it’s Friday…

I’m sure this has been pointed out before, but I’m watching Spider-Man Homecoming and just noticed that the elevator operator at the Washington Monument is the same actress that plays the woman that Ru owes all that drug money to in Euphoria lol she and Zendaya are connected through the multiverse 😂

Did anyone ever answer Drax when he asked, “Why is Gamora?”

It took me a few days to even build up the courage to use it lol but I didn’t want the ramen to go to waste so I finally did it lol I could’ve easily taken it back to 7/11 to have them do it but I was being lazy lol

For my birthday this year I would like:

-Money
-Pokémon plushies
-Money
-Dick
-More money
-The Orange shit stain and its entire admin, and every member of 🧊 to be publicly guillotined
-Sushi and ramen
-Birria tacos
-More dick
-Even more money

I hope you’re having a fantastic Friday, too!

The only thing I’ve ever used was a tea pot in Japan but that was after I cleaned it myself to make sure it was good to use so I could eat some ramen I had bought from 7/11 lol other than that, I’m pretty much the same. I won’t even get under the covers, just lay on top of them.

Every time you submit an escalation I should not have to ask you what error message you received. How many times have we been through this, Sandra? Either tell me the specific error message or stay the fuck out my inbox cuz I’m not gonna go back n forth with you in 10 emails tryna figure it out.

Some folks submit escalations to me with just, “I received an error message,” then when I ask what error message they got they just say, “Idk just some error.” I’m gonna start replying, “Idk sounds like a you problem,” then close the escalation. I’m tired of having to hand walk these fucking adults.

You can use it for pretty much anything now.

Was in a meh mood today, but just took a nice, long hot shower and feel absolutely fucking GREAT. All clean and moisturized.

Lmao let me find a sub who has the money

Just straight up 🤮

And baby/diaper kinks as well.

I have a free movie ticket and kinda wanna use it to see Scream 7 since I won’t be spending any of my own money. Can’t decide if I should or not. Otherwise I will be waiting for it to hit streaming for free.

I’m just glad I don’t drink coffee, and as a result have never used a coffee maker in a hotel room 🤮

Watching the birth of Dark Willow is both 💔 and 🤩

New shirt featuring my numero uno

a woman in a black sweater is holding a cup of hot chocolate with a spoon in it . ALT: a woman in a black sweater is holding a cup of hot chocolate with a spoon in it .

As much as I hate a meeting, one thing I enjoy is when there are other Black people in the meeting and a white person says something crazy and we all make the exact same face then turn our cameras off lmao

Thank you! What, we don’t deserve to look at the meat in the morning?! Are we not good enough?! What happened to “morning wood”?

I woke up expecting the skyline to be like Arby’s this morning… where are the meats?!?!