Cpt. Mara Key Rossetti V

If you are doing your best and trying to do better, and making an effort not to hurt others...you're all right with me and I wish you a happy 2026!

A gray cartoon mouse in a red wizard outfit saying “I didnt even fuck around, why am I finding out?”

I’m sayin

Dinguses be out frolicking with all their whimsy, suppressing their awareness of the world..

From now on I'm dingus.
I'm gonna frolic so hard, you won't believe the whimsical time I'll have!

there used to be some cool people in the world, now it's all just dinguses

Person with a mug looking at their phone with the text "Don't talk to me until I've had my morning sponsored content data harvesting propaganda govt psypop doomscroll" followed by all the social media logos

.. Which I shall also consume before bed and then wonder why I'm tired all the time..

Been a while. No time for thoughts (or pears). But I've come to the conclusion, I think we should kiss.

Just want to say one more time. There is no Eris Day, there never has been and it definitely isn't today.
#haileris #discordian

Mulder, just fucking kiss her already it's been like 8 seasons of this shit, WHY WON'T YOU KISS HER??

Screenshot of someone wishing me a Happy Eris Day and me responding "Happy What?" This is because there is NO SUCH THING AS ERIS DAY

WhatTheFuckAreYouTalkingAboutJesseDotjpg

There's no such thing as Eris Day, and nobody should be doing anything different today, so you're all doing a great job
#haileris #erisday

If Eris Day falls on a Friday, but there's no one around to agree it exists, does anyone Hail Eris?

The only time I care about your genitalia is if we're making negotiations to rub them together.

Brilliantly worded joke with killer set up and hilarious punchline

Bluesky: scattered applause

Some dumbass skeet like "Spicy is the only way I know"

Bluesky: 10-minute standing ovation, Pulitzer prize, 3-year/$50 million Netflix deal, invitation to Illuminati fight club

I'm late to this I think.. Did Diddy do it?

tinkerbell from peter pan is flying through the air surrounded by flowers and leaves Alt: Tinkerbell from Peter Pan grumpily kicks a dandelion and all the seeds go everywhere

I really Really want to make very bad life choices, but I seem to be incapable of doing this.

Stupid morals.

Of course sex scenes are necessary. How else are movies going to reproduce?

And before anyone says "mitosis", that's how we ended up with so many remakes and cinematic universes

Referring to my imaginary friends as my dissociates

Rock paper scissors must've been wild in the Stone Age.

Don’t sass me buddy, I’ll make your wife cum.

That's like someone coming out to their parents though, they already know

What we really need is 30-50 feral popes

Probably shouldn't tell you about sex 2.0

"What's to-day, my fine fellow?" said Scrooge.

"To-day?" replied the boy. "Why, Ed Balls Day."

"It's Ed Balls Day!" said Scrooge to himself. "I haven't missed it."

UK politician Ed Balls tweeting out his own name while namesearching himself on Twitter, April 28, 2011

You there! What day is it???

We're still doing this, right?

Ed Balls

It's now fully impossible to block ads by t3mu on anything Google related. American company is promoting Chinese spyware. Just what we all need.

I have a new pension plan.

When I'm old and poor, I'm gonna go full Luigi, take out every cunt who denies seizure medication to children or puts anti theft tags on baby food.

Looking forward to my free retirement flat, that's indoors and has both library and gym.