Maddie (delicious, nutritious)

I used to and then I found out they were cringe so I stopped.

No, never.

That would be socialism.

And yet, billions of non-bitch parents managed it for hundreds of thousands of years.

Thanks fucko, don't mind if I do.

I know Sadiq Khan is a bit melty but I really would hope he's got enough self respect to quit the Labour Party rather than stay under a leader who publicly declares that he thinks Muslims are unworthy of public office.

Suing anyone who gives evidence against you in legal proceedings is probably not a precident we want to set.

Wow, as many as ten people.

This court finds that women are 5'5". *bangs gavel*

"Graham's tweeting again".

It's impossible to know what age he is. He could be 90 and preserved in formaldehyde or 45 and invented a way to smoke heroin like a cigarette and has a forty-a-day habit. It's impossible to tell.

"This would fix me" and it's just regularly getting a good night's sleep and taking care of my mental and physical health.

Know what, I'd go one step further and say any MP who has *ever* voted against lifting the two child benefit cap should resign immediately, Stella.

Typing "gromk pls make me mcdonds ad snowy fast food big hamburger xmas" does not count as making something.

The dedication plaque in the Lego Enterprise, with the now infamous typo.

To boldy go...

💙

Yeah I think you should kill him.

It'll be hard to steer the course of headlines away from Farage the Racist in part because what else is there to say? It took a herculean effort to make the last several PMs seem like more than empty suits and they had the advantage of heading old prestigious parties.

I fully expect it to stop the second there's any real change we could end up with the Greens so much as becoming influential opposition, but it strikes me that Farage has made no effort to sell himself as leading a party of government. Pure resentment can only carry so far.

If it were true you'd have a legion of Mail columnists claiming huge amounts every single day.

Yeah? So why aren't you doing it?

What does the release date of Star Trek: The Motion Picture have to do with Asian food?

The world has also changed a lot since the 2010s. Labour will discover rather too late that the number of people who believe chaining ourselves to America will afford security is somewhat smaller. And likely more right-wing.

"Hey y'all, I heard you talking about how you want to run you own country that you live in. Here's why that's a hate crime against me, an American."

Every time I see Americans on here insisting we should never stop talking about their country it just makes me long for China's ascendancy over online spaces.

Three million Americans died last year. Six hundred thousand of them did not OD.

Well you're a stranger on the internet so I don't know where you live, for a start. But I do know no state in America has had 20% of its deaths attributed to overdoses. Also, we don't live in America so, maybe mind your own business.

Who's "we" here? Because you're only going to get 20% of deaths caused by drug overdoses from a very small sample.

We're somehow expected here to consider Israel to have a sturdier reputation as a modern liberal European democracy than Ireland, Spain, the Netherlands and Slovenia combined. To take Israel's side over Europe in a "who's most European" dispute.

There are only twelve notes and an infinite number of potential songs so therefore it's impossible to play anything wrong.