Judson

It took me way too long to realize we were not talking about what Rufo was wearing at some stupid MAGA event. I think I’m gonna go lie down.

It’s Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy except instead of trying to jump on a train to escape his problems, the old bastard is just going to do what all old bastards eventually do and leave all of us to deal with the aftermath.

Is it made from the Cow Queen?!?!

My other thought was quoting Legend, but I ran out of characters for: "Black as midnight, black as pitch, blacker than the foulest witch."

It's funny how well-written fictional villains are almost always complex characters dealing in shades of gray, while we recognize the one-note black-hats as unbelievable and unrealistic - and yet the real life US gov't is painting us with a Vantablack brush right now on the world stage.

Why does my brain think he's about to release the crop report after having already cornered the market on Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice?

He’s nothing if not incapable of meeting the moment.

On one hand, anyone paying attention is aware of this risk.

On the other hand, a whole lot of people aren't paying attention & Trump is going to have even more blood on his tiny hands bc he's worried about his already shitty poll numbers rather than the lives of the people of this (or any) country.

It's like they said, "What if we took the passive voice and turned it into submissive voice but made it completely unintelligible at the same time?"

I mean, why would they lie about something so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things?

*holds hand to nonexistent earpiece*

And I'm being told that's the dumbest thing I've ever asked.

Desperately need the high school concession stand to start selling beer.

Same!

[no-it-never-works-for-those-people-but-it-might-work-for-us.gif]

I’ll try and stay awake.

Legit don't know why she thought she stood a chance.

<Insert Torment Nexus meme>

These guys have never learned a single moral from any story ever.

Losing someone is awful. Trying to pretend that you haven't would be so much worse.

It looks like the fork version of true Grail from Indiana Jones, coarse, rough-hewn, unpleasant on the tongue.

Brought to us by the "Pro-Life" people.

There is no context in which the shortening of a "kill chain" is a net positive.

The cynical side of me thinks he's trying to pull a 'Miracle on 34th Street' by recommending supporting other outlets and hoping for an outpouring of goodwill for his own in return...

I assume we are all 5 or 7, but want to be 9.

This timeline sucks. At no point should I *ever* be forced to agree with Matt Walsh.

A big general, a strong general, tears in his eyes, came up to me and said, "Mr. President, you have to stop Iran from getting the nukes we already had a deal to prevent that you backed out of before you obliterated their nukes and now they'll have nukes by like, next week!"

No one knew how complicated geopolitical conflict could be.

ACAB undersells how irredeemable some of these people are.

My first instinct was shingles, but I've got 'Sleeper agent on US Hockey Team poisoned the gold medal before they let him try it on' as a dark horse option.

And before anyone asks, the extreme position on this side of the issue would be taking off and nuking these sites from orbit, obviously.

The moderate position.