Nuggoofus

I'll become a clown because I cannot say aloud what really turns my frown upside down when you're around (8/8)

I think it is best if you left you petty theft
Stealing my joy as you ploy my peers into your squeals and I'll kneel to you appeal to speak again repress any conflict that in fact that will light a match because I cannot deal so I seal what I feel (7/8)

You felt insulted, but it always resulted in you leaving because it's always my fault for your seething, so you seek for my pleading and misreading anything I would do (6/8)

I used to chase, beg, and cry, but I'm not a dog anymore nor will pry to try for something beaten and dried
I used to see something good in you, defended you til I was blue as my friends had no clue what I viewed but they knew what I would do for you (5/8)

Anyone that was different from you that you couldn't relate to you hated, especially when I dated you rage baited
Your lack of empathy is alarming, and your anger is daunting
No wonder if I had a conflict with you It would haunt me because if you blew up , I threw up
(4/8)

You say it's one-sided , but I would've stolen the moon for you even if i met my doom
You frame me into a chore, and you always craved war when you were bored
one-sided, I agree, my bones would snap and shatter so I wouldn't be battered by your temperamental attitude, (3/8)

You blame me for my assumptions that you proved are plain and true
But you would slain anything I aimed and threw it back because you felt attacked
You hate it when Im high, but I never complain about your blackout nights (2/8)

Your way or the highway
Trading your liver for cheap laughs
I bend to your every will, but if I suddenly change for me ,you scoff and laugh
Twisting my boundaries and self-defense into victimizing yourself (1/8)

Magnetized fire 3:Nothing lights my soul more than someone lending an ear.
Let me be your emergency contact. I'll fill that void as long I'm treated honestly

Magnetized fire 2:I let out a hushed whisper, but in my mind, it swirls into a bellowing scream.
I long for my twin flame that extinguished long ago.
Aimlessly throwing matches in the wind, trying to find another companion that catches flame.

Magnetized fire 1: I go through this push and pull.
A subtle ache in my heart wants people near, but nothing leaves my lips, or I push too far for their reach.
Weighing back and forth
I swing around, waiting for a crumb affirmation
Not wanting to sound desperate for affection from peers

Your siren calls fall on deaf ears
Your bellowing screams for lust are useless
Your bed calls to me but not for lust but for attention
You crave my affection while I crave your spotlit eyes
Nothing more

It's too early too soon
My heart is too entangled
If I take it apart, the more it bleeds for you.

Give me a snipping tool to chop chop chop but at a cost of thousands and no spare change for the obese. (pt 5/5)

Metallic taste coats my tongue as I chew my gums craving junk
Take a shot to suck the fat away. Why is it harder the natural way?
Why am I the only one who finds myself beautiful? I hate being called cute or lusted after for quick fun.
(pt 4/5)

Comparison on social media is a death wish with how they cut and snip off pounds with editing tools
Grind grind grind til I can't chew on chemical filled foods that latch onto my stomach
Fuck your beauty standards I'm doing this for my health (pt 3/5)

My face card is always potent, but my double chin doesn't make it lethal.
I want to be a poisonous viper beautiful, that people clamor in line to die with me.
I want to be a warrior angel fitted with the best armor and body that only the average dreams of. (pt 2/5)

Ripping my limbs and starving myself to be not called "fat," "plus sized," "big girl," "the funny friend" anymore
Pushing my limits til my teeth crowns grind flat
Am I pretty yet? I always felt i was beautiful, but others call my body flawed or refuse my warm touch
(pt 1/5)

My brain can be so unkind and batter my mind, black and blue

Deceased pt 3:You're free to haunt me. You were always so paranormal, so it wouldn't be any different. I'm just so lonely to have good soul gone from my life. You were my twin flame, that part of me laid to rest when news broke you died accidentally. I'm hexxed to feel empty in the void you left

Parents pt 2: Even when the flames seared my skin or had no hug to find solace in, I gritted my teeth into a smile and took it in, or there would be hell to pay. Words I knew from him were filled with ulterior motives, and words I heard from her always had a distant meaning

Parents pt1 :I was raised by gaslit flames that was for my father's vainty and greed that turned anything into crushing dust under his words of law. My mother's ice cold nonchalant nature could suck out all the warmth a mother's embace could be.

Deceased pt 2: Your silence is despicable, but you can't help it. You're no longer walking along the living.
I morn the dead memories we had, hoping this is all a cruel joke. I miss my guardian angel, my best friend, that I could actually lean on.

Deceased pt1:Operator I am tired of answering machines
Leaving with nothing in return.
I deserve an answer to your selfish choices.
These sounds of machines are etched in my skull with no sign of human life. Hearing your recorded voice, I forgotten years ago..

You smile with dollar signs in your eyes as I lie in the electric chair with false promises that it'll heal my traumas. Zip ,zap, give me your cash. Never again will you fool me twice you money hungry sadist.
(Pt 5/5)

You threaten to take me away from my home if I utter anything to do with my hands being soaked with my own blood or thoughts to grab something sharper than your words. (Pt 4/5)

You greet me with swallow pleasantries and slapping facts about my disease at me. It does no good but to assist me into a down sprial of thoughts of "there is no cure." (Pt 3/5)

But it was no use,I wave the flag of surrender, that's made out of money, and you greedily take it not once listening to my sirens of help.(Pt 2/5)

Bad psychiatrist:
You vulture swaying in the wind, picking at pennies from my pockets,then pelting me with medication. I take them in good faith my mind will be more kind to me. (Pt 1/5)

The mixture of emotions cause my vitals to be erratic. I beg you'll leave me alone til I'm ready because I will pathetically cry for your love again. if you're reading this, I still love you with a heavy chest of fresh stitches itching my skin. (5/5)