I recently joined a debating society that meets at a nudist colony - it’s all talk and no trousers. #lunchpun
02.03.2026 12:21 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I recently joined a debating society that meets at a nudist colony - it’s all talk and no trousers. #lunchpun
02.03.2026 12:21 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Any fans of bank robberies?
Put your hands up!
Can’t help but wonder if Glenn Hoddle is such a tedious co-commentator due to something he did in a previous life 😉
15.02.2026 19:09 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You tell yourself you’ll only watch 5 minutes of the skiing, and before you know it you’ve watched 3 hours. It’s a slippery slope. #winterolympics
14.02.2026 09:20 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Violets are red
Roses are blue
I need an eye test
What about you?
A lot of people think Ed Sheeran is amazing, but his cover of The A-Team sounds nothing like the original theme tune.
29.01.2026 10:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Consultant: “Any dips during the day?”
Me: “Houmous”
Consultant: “I meant in terms of
energy and mood”
I had a phone call to say that I can take an escort to my next hospital appointment. I’m glad it’s only 45 minutes, as I can’t afford to pay the agency the full hour.
#jokes #hospital
Tall beardy comedian in a loud shirt looking happy as he makes people laugh
Had an excellent gig last night at Allsortz Comedy in Barnet!
A well-run, friendly, and well attended gig with an audience who enjoyed a great lineup of comedians.
My set went down very well, as you can see from the smile on my face!
#standup #parkinsons #disability
Recently I’ve been struggling to put food on the table. I’m fine for money, I just would make a terrible waiter.
#jokes #parkinsons
Tonight!
04.06.2025 14:01 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
It’s World Parkinson’s Day.
Why not celebrate by asking someone you know with Parkinson’s if they have tried yoga, cannabis, or turmeric.
#worldparkinsonsday #parkinsons #yopd
Understanding is like marmite: a little goes a long way. Marmite is better on crumpets though.
#ParkinsonsAwarenessMonth
After 8 hours of doing semaphore wrong, I’m starting to flag.
#lunchpun
This is probably my favourite photo I have from my gigs. To be fair, I normally don’t stand still enough to get a non-blurry one!
31.03.2025 09:52 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0After 8 hours of doing semaphore wrong, I’m starting to flag. #dadjokes
23.03.2025 08:49 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
To be fair, it’s a very convincing costume
08.03.2025 17:22 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Where you can catch me the rest of this month:
Friday 14th: Raw Comedy, Evesham
Sun 16th: Hot Water Comedy Club, Liverpool - New Act Night
Sunday 23rd: Leeds Laughter Lounge
Thurs 7th: The Grin Distillery, Cheltenham
Tonight at Fat Penguin in Moseley was the first of several gigs this month. It’s fair to say it went incredibly well! Brilliant audience and I was buzzing afterwards 🤩
05.03.2025 22:02 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Me as a teenager listening to Rage Against The Machine:
“We gotta take the power back!”
Me in my mid-forties:
“We gotta take a power nap”
Make new friends today by wishing everyone in West England a happy St David’s Day 🌼
02.03.2025 08:32 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
“If people don’t respect your boundaries, cut them out of your life”
Ben Stokes
An unsatisfactory climax for the O’s.
#facup
Cashier: can I get an email from you?
Me: I would prefer a paper receipt
Cashier: ok
Me: iwouldpreferapaperreceipt@gmail.com
Schools every other day of the year: Please provide a healthy snack for your child.
School discos: Please allow us to fill your child with enough sugar to put a diabetic in a permanent coma.
$15,000 to climb Everest?! That’s a bit steep!
www.bbc.com/news/article...
👏👏👏
22.01.2025 17:26 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Lowest point of your day - maybe. A dip, definitely.
22.01.2025 12:06 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Was going to visit Warwick Castle but couldn’t find the nearest railway station. I lost my train of fort. #LunchPun
22.01.2025 12:01 — 👍 13 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
Equinox: how a horse lets you know they’re at your door
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary