Scott with Silent T

Coupons for KFC Country Fried Steak Dinner

Do you think this is real, or just AI taking things from my diary and making them appear to come true?

Sold!

Special edition of every Star Wars movie, but the only change is that Palpatine is always wearing Wrangler jeans.

Could AI create a scene with an older Leo DiCaprio giving encouragement to a younger Leo?

Have you ever been surfing the web and thought, I wonder who has the largest database of Growing Pains reruns and owns the rights to make new episodes using AI? It’s the Sequel to the Internet! Unfortunately we only have a digital double for Chrissy Seaver at this time.

We need brave innovators like you to partner on this project. Weren’t you the one who first suggested peanut butter ravioli? What happened to that bold provocateur????!

Hey guys, I left my retainer on the nightstand of my Jurassic Park Resort room in 1994. Is it safe to go back there and get it now? Did things stabilize? How’s their lost and found? Does anyone know?

This isn’t a big deal, but I thought you should know you have tentacles hanging out of every orifice.

Gross. What would Parmesan Beer even taste like???? How does this guy keep getting investors????

Hearing that many of you are not backing my Sequel to the Internet project because you recognize me from the failed Parmesan Beer Kickstarter. Yes, a lot of people got botulism. But with the Internet 2 there’s nothing ingested. You and your investment are perfectly safe.

perhaps it’s Perhapselline

I thought sushi was just uncooked fish sticks…and now I look stupid with these chopsticks.

You get a free inflatable neck pillow to use while browsing our new internet. It’s the same one hackers use for long shifts.

New idea: Leprechaun in space meets up with super jacked (dumb as shit) space-Jason Voorhees. Realizes he can use him. They team up (i.e. Leprechaun recruits Jason as a tool to do his Leprechaun bidding). They somehow travel back to our current time period. This spawns a new franchise.

4,000 Year old scrolls found in Egypt confirm Veggie Tales prophecy.

Breaking news! The fine people at Tomy will build our giant server facilities for the Internet 2.

Let’s make it a sleeping bag potluck. Indicate here what kind of snack you can bring.

If you’re stuck in the snow storm, come south. I've sewn two king size sleeping bags together and have lunchables tucked inside. Come sit out the storm with me. I'd hate to think you froze to death, alone, because of pride or a fear of cold sores.

🤑💰💸

Broken down and folded Red Baron Frozen Pizza box.

Do you get a deposit for returning frozen pizza boxes? Like a nickel maybe?

We will have massive data centers for our new internet, but we won’t have AI there. We’ll have real people working out everything on paper and creating your video prompts in Claymation. And those people will live there and won’t be allowed to leave.

What does peep cake taste like? Aren’t peeps just sugar. Is it sugar flavored cake?

A box of Duncan Hines Peeps cake mix. With peep rabbits on the box.

If Peeps were real animals this wouldn’t be alright. Especially the moist part.

Remember when the last internet collapsed because it didn’t have enough rebar??? We have plenty built in…plus plenty of stanchions for your safety.

Yea, well hindsight is 20/20 Mr. Magoo!!!! …is a sick burn that hardly anyone uses anymore.

The squelch of logging on to the internet is a thing of the past. Now it’s more of an empty howl. We don’t know where the sound comes from and find it better not to know. The sequel to the internet provides reliable, mostly quiet access to the worldwide web with no delays.

Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Yes!!!!!

Remember when the internet was new and chat rooms were fun? But sometimes you’d bump into your uncle in a chat room and it was awkward? With the sequel to the internet, chat rooms are back, but with a filter that keeps out uncles. Cousins too if you flip a switch.

My account is unabashedly me. 100% authentic Scott. And if that’s a problem for you then…I can completely change into anything you want me to be. Just let me know what you’d like better. (I also do like 5 different voices)

Alt text: Bag of frozen jumbo scallops at LIDL.