Nip

It’s completely insane that staples aren’t reusable. It’s 2025.

People over on instagram makin smashburger vids like they were born with a rare gift

Seeing someone throw garbage out of a car window is by far the most jarring experience I’ve ever had. Imagine being that demented.

Step 1: Scratch through the first layer of skin on the top of your foot, but you didn’t realize it.
Step 2: Put a sock on in the morning.
Step 3: Take that sock off at night, but no! Now you have a legitimate wound.

The P.F. in P.F. Chang’s stands for Pizza Friday, which, I think you’ll agree, is very strange, given their menu. Anybody can post on here.

The tree is back.

Do you think there was a memo at Yoplait? Like “Well, we all knew this day would come…”

Remember when it was all just regular yogurt? Took us so long to discover Greek.

Hanging out at the Whole Foods self check-out, telling people “I have some of that at home if you wanna borrow it.”

Thomas Haake
Nate Wood
Animal

Protest sign idea: I’M JUST ENJOYING THE WEATHER

Remember Twitter? Remember Follow Friday? Remember that kid who said his birthday was a different day because it landed on a Friday and he didn’t want to miss out on a birthday blowup AND Follow Friday? We had a typewriter when I was growing up.

Who tf decided on the spelling of “committee?” That word goes way too hard for such a downer.

I can’t really tell if this all natural shallot and leek scented deodorant is working.

Damn intern is so young he doesn’t know what 2D is.

Me.

I mean Nip. But it’s definitely him.

Hey, hi. It’s me, Nate.

I guess I just feel like they should’ve made some laws about president.

Hey is it just me or are there way too many Hillary Clintons and Donald Trumps still kickin around?

No I got fired because I told my boss to jump over a broomstick but when he jumped over it I had dug a large hole on the other side, which he fell into.

Here I am.

I’m eating peoples lunches and making them watch.

I’m posting because I’m in my third-to-last day at work and I feel like the most powerful being in the universe. No assignments, no disciplinary actions. My boss avoids me like he knows I might make him confront his True Self.

You guys remember Elon Musk? What ever happened to that guy?

Social Media really didn’t take off like I thought it would.

Hey fragrance ads, grow up.

I’ve noticed a lot of people seem to think they’re overcoming adversity just by continuing to not give up. Like there’s a large group of people out there betting against them. First of all, that’s not it.

Nobody tell me about the next solar eclipse. I want to be surprised.

Gingers across New England asking to be seated outside for the first time since 2017.