mobby boynihan

riding in a golfcart fatly with boys

fuck I think I pulled my delroy lindo

Trying to pay my rent. Sign into banking app. It says there’s an update coming and to use my browser instead. Open browser. Sign into banking website. It opens the app.

I think my brain has done everything it could not to lol

maybe I’ll feel better if I pick a fight with a guy in a motorcycle helmet

Man I honestly don’t know! It sure sounded like him back then but it could have easily been a soundalike

I also had a tape that was basically the pilot episode of ALF

why did I have the book on tape of this when I was a kid?

Another Twin Peaks title card that says A Genderless Burger Experience

today I learned that the dishware set my nana owned had 14,000 ppm of lead lmao

there’s a sucker born every minute and they’re all raising an army to defeat me

fucked up in the cribb drinking mr pibb

trying to explain to my girlfriend why taco bell is good and all that’s coming out is “many taco, small moneys”

Twin Peaks title card that says Nirvanna The Band The Show

life is gonna rule when the last neolib casts the big ballot in the sky

computer what are some cool names for a fist

I’m not vagueposting I’m just posting in an unclear manner

america is the world’s abusive step-dad

I can actually put the toothpaste back in the tube I just need more time

in america if you win a gold medal they make you eat mcdonalds with a pedophile

smart

markiplier’s iron lung? i didn’t even know he was ill

*drunkenly threatening you* loose lips? eat shit

you’re telling me the radio was invented by a googly elmo macaroni

hey man we baked this for you as our way of saying “thank you for killing all those horses”

hell uea

earth proudly wears the parthenon as a prince albert upon it’s massive dong
-ralph waldo emerson

the coolest animal is a peregrine falcon and you cannot convince me otherwise, those dudes are basically just a fist with wings

while my guitar gently reeeeeee’s

remember when jeff bezos wanted a free space ship so he whined and cried to the government until they gave him one with taxpayer dollars and then somebody was like “actually jeff the tech to live in space won’t exist in your lifetime” so he just went “whatever space is gay anyways”?