Shit Suedeer Says

Shh! ... you smell that?

Past me was awesome. Because they bought cookies and didn't eat them all. And now I have a snack.

If that dude just stopped speaking about 30 seconds before he stopped speaking ... his whole life would improve.

(A story thread)

Belly button thief!

Javier! Peel me another hot dog!

Drawing of a short and toony deer, her eyes looking up and to the left while clasping her hoof-hands together and smiling with a sticking-out tongue. She’s definitely up to something!

A 20 minute Li’l Guy drawing of me by @lizardbethart.bsky.social, who is fantastic to commission, btw!

Like gassy moths to a flame!

Bennie: Haggis and Pineapple Pizza...

Sue: (slowly reaches for spray bottle.)

Bennie: ACK! NO! NOOOOOOOOooooo

I regret that I have but two middle fingers to give you right now...

Not all heroes wear capes.

Some wear clown shoes.

Bennie: Wait? Are you littering?

Sue: No. That would require me dropping kittens.

If you let ideas simmer in your mind like chili, ... sometimes good stuff farts out.

I know they say "you are what you eat" -- but I don't remember eating back pain and a bad knee.

The new Pope’s age is 69.

N-… *bites fist*

We should open an Indian restaurant with a Lion King theme.

Because we could sell HAKUNA MASALA.

IIIIII LIKE MAWSHMELLOOOOWS!

"You heard it, folks! Sue likes marshmallows!"

Pic of SueDeer by Moonstalker. She is holding "Fluffy Puff Marshmallows" and saying "Before I drink a tall glass of mewon-ade..."

Just in case you didn't notice that @moonstalker.net is on here.

I have no explanation for the following pic other than it's @suedeer.bsky.social and things happen when people visit...

"Oh wow! There's a cute bunny in the back yard!"

"... no, wait. It's just an enormously fat squirrel."

#OhioWildlife

Sue: More toasting means more human.

Bennie: ... Was that an Invader Zim reference?

Sue: Yes.

Bennie: You realize that cartoon is over 30 years old now...

Sue: You shut your whore mouth.

Always bet on the fish.

"I knew it had something to do with (dramatic pause) my old nemesis (longer dramatic pause) MATH."

Sue: Interestingly enough, Tiamat showed up in a dream this morning.

Bennie: Really?

Sue: We were trying to escape from a house and then Tiamat showed up and I was like "Now it is DEFINITELY time to go..."

A b&w pencil drawing by Susan Rankin of a monster horse. A closeup of its head, its eyes are bulging and vacant as it lunges to one side, mouth agape, wider than any horse’s mouth should open, exposing large teeth, including canine teeth, jagged and crooked, and a lolling tongue. “rar.”

“HELLo, We’Ve bEeN tRyInG tO rEaCh yOu AbOuT yOuR sOuL’s VERY LIMITED LIFETIME WARRANTEE”

(singing along with the radio)

Have a smokey-tokey Christmas!
It's the best high of the year!

Save your nose and don't do blow,
maybe have yourself a beer...

E.T. is RIPPED. Swol. Even his neck is thick. He wears only a headband, stretched taught over his massive forehead, standing in the classic Side Chest bodybuilder pose. The index finger on the hand of the prominently featured arm extends skyward, glowing. And he gazes at you through eyes half-lidded, as if to say, “Do you even phone home, bro?” This cursed idea made tangible by Susan Rankin-Pollard.

I got wait listed for AnthrOhio, so now I’m forced to release Ripped E.T. Into the wild.

Hold on... I need to pull up reference so I can see where to put E.T.'s nipples...

STOP SAWING THE TABLE!

Murder is a legitimate form of self-care.

Bennie: I'm surprised there isn't a rock band called "Waste Band."

Sue: It would be a teenage group.

Bennie: Teenage Waste Band?

Sue: (singing) Teenage Waste Band. It's just a Teenage Wast Band...