Tim Martens

Illinois basketball should make the Balkan Lynx it's mascot for 2025-26 hoops bsky.app/profile/loca...

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All the talk is to boycott Amazon. That's child's play.

If you have Prime, just keep ordering. Order a lot. And then return it all. Then order again. Then return again. Just keep having them pay your shipping back and forth over and over and over.

hockey fights

My concept for the Super Bowl LX logo

Avalanche instead of Avalanches then?

I think Utah Mammoth sounds way better. And not much different than Kraken instead of Krakens.

Play the Super Bowl at the Rose Bowl again!

Petition: play the Super Bowl in the Rose Bowl again

Funny so many people were worried about Bo Callahan because no one came to his birthday party and not because of who his agent was.

normalize banana bread as the entire dinner

A minions movie, but it’s also the purge

roundball rock

Just changed a diaper while suctioning my daughter’s mouth and holding her g tube from spilling. This is my AND1 mixtape.

When I used to be a eucharistic minister, I’d throw in a “body of Chris” every 10 or 15 handouts just to see if someone would notice.

Forgetting that Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004” was 20 years old this entire year is my “Sorry 2024”

Just me or is sharing the Spotify wrapped the equivalent of telling someone your dreams?

You think people care…no one does…

I challenge anyone to find a closing credit song that feels more off from the vibe of the movie than the song in the credits of The Santa Clause

thankful af

Almost forgot to properly protect myself from this new social media

i DO NOT give BLUE SKY permission. to share ANY of my pictures or personal infomation to ANYONE or, to print ANYHING off of my computer

There…I’m safe.

kinda forgot i had this and was going to use it for all the important thoughts i had during the day, so guess it’s time to get back at it…

my dream is still to buy an old bank and convert it into a sub restaurant and we send you your sub through the drive through tubes

honestly if you tell me that you’re “hear to say” something within the first verse of a rap, I know it’s about to be really good

I have yet to meet a dog that I wouldn’t rank ahead of all but about ten people in the world.

Being 35 and looking back on what college life was like, the nostalgia seems to never go to the parties and fun. I now just think “man, i had so much time for naps.”

For Hire: Produce Guide

Job Role: You arrive just ahead of me at my grocery store and cut down any produce I grab by 3/4.

Example: I grab eight bananas. You rip off six and put them back on the shelf. I question it. You say “there’s not even room in the freezer for banana bread bananas anymore.”

At this point, if this baby’s first words aren’t “wow, you really did a nice job of blending the wall color with the new flooring in this nursery, mother” then what is all this planning for?

Bears are not so good