Malc Seventyfour

That’s just people being shredded into giblets by Axl Rose’s horrific, piglet-being-tortured-to-death squeal of a “singing” voice.

Had to look this up on Wiki to see how well it did…
No. 85 💀
I’d imagine they had a lot of those 20,000 competition entries left over…

Pretty sure that was the preview in that issue, rather than a review. I’d bet a pound to a penny that those screenshots were mocked up by the programmers.

A picture of an old nonce, looking alarmingly like Shaun Ryder of the Happy Mondays.

Blimey, Shaun Ryder has let himself go…

The Scumbags have drawn 2-2 with each other!
Hearts will now, of course, absolutely shit the bed over the coming weeks. It’s written into McInnes’s contract that his team has to go at least six games without a win once per season.

If Truss had somehow survived long enough, her (un)popularity rating would have gone through the centre of the Earth and come out on the other side.

Blimey! Shackled was absolute guff, yet SU apparently thought it was worth 8/10. Hopefully not too many people parted with their cash based on that review.

The name change must have happened very late in development, because even most of the documentation refers to it as the TS2000.

Mmm, pie & phlegm, my favourite.

Gonna hazard a guess at “shit”.

Kudos for having them all in alphabetical order as well.

I thought I was having a fucking stroke at first, you cunts.

“Seamlessly”, eh, Apple Music?
You’ve just played the first twenty seconds of No More Heroes by The Stranglers over the last twenty seconds of Lovestruck by Madness and no, it wasn’t fucking “seamless”
Get to fucking fuck.

And piss right off with enabling it by default after the last iOS update.

Good grief, did you get Grok to make that for you?!

I really wish you could turn off retweets for individual accounts like back on the hellsite. It would save a lot of problems.

The bubble has to burst at some point surely. And then straight back to the National League they go.

Huh. Don’t remember her at all.
I just assumed it was a Dutch Moyet clone who maybe thought Alf’s stage persona was a little too, er, drab.

Alison van Moyet showing off her knickers while dancing atop a steadily expanding blancmange is definitely quite the sight!

“Hi! I’m Ed Antifa!”

He’s here all week, folks. Try the peas.

Chris Barrie as Arnold J Rimmer (BSC, SSC)

Chris Barrie as Gordon Brittas.

Chris Barrie as that twatty footballer from the shite “A Prince Among Men” that somehow lasted two series.

Chris Barrie as the butler in Tomb Raid… LOOK, THE JOKE IS THAT CHRIS BARRIE IS A BIT OF A TWAT, OKAY?!

Four fictional characters who would definitely defect to reform.

“I’m constantly beating off the poontang with a shovel, but none of them are good enough for me EXCEPT YOU SHARON, PLEASE COME BACK!”

Can heartily recommend. And if he’ll have me on the podcast to talk bollocks for half an hour he’ll take literally anyone - even you.

Absolutely. No one can forget the hostile takeover of Guinea World in 1902.

This is bullshit.

The good thing about that Cisco Heat bug is that non +2a and +3 owners could rejoice that they didn’t have to play absolute bollocks like Cisco Heat.

No part of the scenery went unchewed that day.

Looks like a classified ad in Cuck Monthly magazine.

Haha! I love it!

Lovely stuff! I’d wager a small amount of money that a chunk of those games were bought from the Home Computer Club back in the day. I can see a few exclusive editions in there.