Martin Kelner

Latest free Substack martinkelner.substack.com/p/lot-of-bad.... Subscribe now or regret it for the rest of your life

The stupidity of Jess Phillips, who shot the baboons, and more Salt Path bollocks... Plus Kelner's not for everybody, so this is for paying acolytes only

open.substack.com/pub/martinke... and here’s one for the paying customers!

Radio Days, a word on Whale, Stannage, James H, & other voices of the past Plus rats the size of dogs...oy gewalt!

martinkelner.substack.com/p/radio-days.... Latest Substack, feel free to subscribe

More Gwyneth, Prince Andrew & his gran watching the ITV7 on TV, & couch potato dogs are missing Rolf Harris on Animal Hospital ...and why Sumo wrestlers wear nappies. Extra special stuff for our paying punters...

Latest Substack. Full of farm freshness martinkelner.substack.com/p/more-gwyne...

That is exceptional work! Thanks.

Job interviews, uselessness of police, & mention Jimmy Savile, & you've lost the argument Plus fantastic Christopher Nolan joke & brief mention of the scandal of Lesotho (to be returned to at a later date)

Subscribe for free. At least two decent jokes, & some pertinent comment on matters of public interest open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Ooh sorry, I’ve been forgetting about Blue Sky. I’ll rectify that.

Martin’s Substack | Martin Kelner | Substack This is the vanity project of Martin Barry Kelner. Yes, Barry. Bazza, that's me. Hello teenagers! Click to read Martin’s Substack, by Martin Kelner, a Substack publication with hundreds of subscribe...

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Some advice for the BBC, how not to wear your socks, and a world of light entertainment and talking to the tribe - a Jewish homeland in Florida, make it official!

martinkelner.substack.com/p/some-advic.... Best yet. The joy of socks, & advice for the BBC. Subscribe for free. On Substack, if you can find it!

Martin’s Substack | Martin Kelner | Substack This is the vanity project of Martin Barry Kelner. Yes, Barry. Bazza, that's me. Hello teenagers! Click to read Martin’s Substack, by Martin Kelner, a Substack publication with hundreds of subscribe...

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

1am @talkSPORT #butchersfilmclub The Lamb Shank Redemption, The Spy Who Loved Meat, Licence to Grill, Forrest Rump, Mince Congeniality, Gorky Pork, Much Ado About Mutton, Little Chop Of Horrors, Steaks On A Plane

Jewish homeland in America's midwest - at least you'll get some decent musical theatre + 'Will ye no have a cup of tea, Dr Finlay? (hello teenagers)

open.substack.com/pub/martinke... Here’s an idea! Oh, and what a comely cow!

An all-you-can-eat buffet of pertinent news comment... ...including Rachel Reeves and high-value crisps.

open.substack.com/pub/martinke.... Latest Substack. She seems ok, bless her

No. Been on holiday. Back on Fri night.

Short on jokes, but I wanted to say it. Cheery picture to cheer up a bit of a muddled message. But a muddle is what it is martinkelner.substack.com/p/why-are-the-

Brand new Substack. On the brink over Iran; & memories of the last time the world held its breath - I’m that old - & how JFK took the credit & got to shag Marilyn Monroe

1am @talkSPORT #japanesefilmclub Katsu On A Hot Tin Roof, Rita, Sushi, & Bob Too, Play It Again Samurai, When Hari Kiri Met Sally, Rice Cold in Alex, No Country For Old Yen

Martin’s Substack | Martin Kelner | Substack This is the vanity project of Martin Barry Kelner. Yes, Barry. Bazza, that's me. Hello teenagers! Click to read Martin’s Substack, by Martin Kelner, a Substack publication with hundreds of subscribe...

Martinkelner.substack.com.

Is Keir Starmer a c*nt, as the England fans were chanting in Spain.... and is that the best place for the asterisk? Plus brand new pun, which I'm patenting - Thierry Ennui, for a bored and frustrated football fan

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

1am @talkSPORT #floristsfilmclub The Wild Bunch, The Bouquet List, Driving Miss Daisy, Back To The Fuchsia, Gunfight At The Bouquet Corral, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Buttonhole

Even a blind hen sometimes pecks a grain! ...and a warning for Clare Balding

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Even a blind hen sometimes pecks a grain! ...and a warning for Clare Balding

open.substack.com/pub/martinke.... Latest Substack is here. And here to celebrate is a picture of a horse’s ass.

Martin’s Substack chat Join now in the Substack app

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Even a blind hen sometimes pecks a grain! ...and a warning for Clare Balding

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

If liver be the food of love, braise yours with a few onions, and Dick Schoof - political crisis in Holland and the death cap mushroom case continues

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Mushrooms, Gaza, condoms, and the Code of Jewish law and the idiosyncracies of Google Maps

martinkelner.substack.com/p/mushrooms-... Mushrooms, Gaza, condoms, & the Code of Jewish law. It's meshuggah, this one.

The pointlessness of it all. It's Christmas Day, 2016, and nobody's listening.. So this is more or less a world premiere

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Here's the latest substack - on Liverpool, Kathy Bates, and allied matters martinkelner.substack.com/p/the-liverpoo… plus badly told Bernard Manning joke

And done with only half the number of functioning ears normally standard for this kind of caper!

Here's the latest substack - on Liverpool, Kathy Bates, and allied matters martinkelner.substack.com/p/the-liverpoo… plus badly told Bernard Manning joke