Lee Smiley

If Kendrick Lamar had secretly made up with Drake and brought him out to perform with him at halftime, no one would have remembered anything else about the night. #SuperBowl

But, no, Elon isn’t Hitler. Neither is Trump. They’re both worse. Hitler didn’t have the resources or technology these guys do. That makes them infinitely more dangerous.

If I was Canadian, I’d be legitimately worried right now.

It’s very easy to know who the real Nazi is. Just see who the out-and-proud Nazis worship and that’s your guy. That’s Elon Musk and it’s also Donald Trump. It isn’t Obama, Hillary, Biden, or anyone else on the left.

To those posting the out-of-context photos of Obama et. al. with arms raised in the same static (not in motion) gesture as Elon, I ask this: Do Obama’s words and actions sounds like something a Nazi would say or do? Did the alt-right go crazy supporting Obama or do they support Elon?

I just got two emails back to back reminding me that I’m old. One was from the AARP about membership benefits and the other was from Spotify letting me know that 3 Doors Down was playing in my area soon.

There are only two fields where a lack of experience is considered a good thing: politics and pornography.

One is a bleak, unsavory business where women are exploited by men in power, money makes the rules, and nothing is real.

The other is pornography.

Oops, I deed it again. #britneyspears
#givebritneyaloan

Didn’t hide it well enough, I guess.

www.nytimes.com/2024/11/25/b...

Matt Gaetz Withdraws as Trump’s Pick for Attorney General: Live Updates

The only reason Gaetz dropped out is because he was informed that confirmation wasn’t, in fact, an opportunity for him to pick up underage Catholic girls.

No, I need that Coke setup they have at McDonalds. That’s superior to anything (including mold) from a Freestyle machine.

For anyone who, like me, just watched #PaulvsTyson.

Trump Wants RFK Jr. to Be Health Secretary: Live Updates At an event at his Mar-a-Lago club in Florida, the president-elect said he wanted Gov. Doug Burgum of North Dakota to be his interior secretary. Mr. Trump also praised Mr. Kennedy, who is skeptical of...

It’s like he’s drafting a fantasy football team, but it’s all Cleveland Browns players.

At least when Trump’s Gestapo comes, we can all go to the camps together.

#NoDemUnder1k

Just wait until he nominates the Hawk Tuah girl for Commerce Secretary.

I hope this enables him to get the care he needs for his brain parasite, although at this point I suspect he just had a Neuralink implanted and Elon is communicating to him through it.

Taylor Momsen posts video footage of the moment a bat bit her leg while performing on stage | CNN Musician and actor Taylor Momsen is seemingly taking everything in stride after being bit by a bat while on stage in Spain last week.

At an Ozzy Osborne concert, this would be considered DoorDash.

www.cnn.com/2024/06/02/e...

Did a vegan write this?

Oh, no! I corresponded with Janet several times back when I was writing. She never failed to be supportive, even when saying my submissions weren’t quite right for her. Her blog was a daily read for me back then.

Let the “door-falls-off-in-space” jokes begin.

amp.cnn.com/cnn/2024/04/...

This is why Will’s mom made him move to Bel-Air.

www.cnn.com/2024/04/10/u...

Arnold Schwarzenegger says he got a pacemaker fitted last week | CNN Arnold Schwarzenegger has revealed that he underwent surgery last week to get a pacemaker fitted and is “doing great.”

Obviously, this is step one of becoming a Terminator.

www.cnn.com/2024/03/26/e...

Me, too. And I get equally grumpy, but I’m not nearly as cute as she is.

My cat gets pressure headaches during stormy weather. It makes her all grumpy.

That explains why bishops always move diagonally. Forward for Jesus, sideways for God.

I ate a donut burger last night.

Things I ate at the state fair last night:
- A donut burger
- Cinnamon glazed mixed nuts
- Half a smoked turkey leg
- A pineapple whip
- A giant snickerdoodle cookie
- My feelings
- Two big scoops of ice cream
- A funnel cake
- A pork chop sandwich
- My pride
- A fried Snickers
- A fried Reese’s

I occasionally delivered pizzas in college, pre-GPS. We had the giant map and would plan the route before we left, which was fine unless there was construction, a wreck, heavy rain, inadequate street lighting, parades, missing house numbers, or general fuckery in the street layout.

They’re terrified of his base with its lack of morals and abundance of guns.

They’re wrecking my gaming budget with all the new releases the back half of this year.

That’s not a complaint.

Braggart. By which I mean I’m not managing well at all and I’m jealous.