MKB

This diva.

My literal only claim to frame is being the inventor of the Parker Posey / Jacob Elordi couch pic.

I do NOT need AI to explain to me what Tracy Turnblad already has!!!

Easy. Larchmont Wine & Cheese in LA. Turkey, mayo, tomato, greens, and a roasted tomato spread on a baguette. Perfection.

A headstone that says Pigman

Visited my ex’s grave.

Someone give their casting director a Nobel Prize.

Tamra, my AI girlfriend who I programmed to only say nice things about me, agrees that my bitch wife and three annoying kids are having a negative impact on my mental health.

... now if I wanted to do all that, I would have!

My friends all told me how cute I looked in my t-shirt last night and I had to break it to them that I bought it in 2008, the summer before high school.

HAPPY PRIDE! 🏳️‍🌈

Yapped my heart out at the gay bar.
I think I found my calling.

Love Rachel but I think she would agree Jane needs to star in the Broadway transfer.

Okay as a man of Needed to Run Errands During a Heatwave experience, it was NOT that bad for a short stint.

I think whatever loyalty (if any) I have toward JetBlue comes from how grateful I am that they flew Elle Woods to her Harvard personal essay performance.

You're showing your ignorance. Megan Hilty was born from the head of Zeus.

I honestly almost witnessed a mutiny when the DJ on the pride boat party wearing a name tag that said "ALLY" started playing Monster and changed the song before Nicki's verse.

Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.

You know you can trust a woman named Maureen.

Paul King, the obvious casting is RIGHT THERE.

Me on a pride party boat tomorrow:

I hate that I can't use em dashes anymore because they're (rightfully) seen as a sign that you used AI to write. Some of us are just classy, okay?

"I asked ChatGPT" Okay well I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'til the landslide brought me down.

More restaurants need to be scaled to make me feel like a rat. I've been saying this!

One day I will return to Twitter and I will fully understand how Norma Desmond felt walking back onto the Paramount lot.

END OF AN ERA

I'm here today to give you permission to unfollow your happy ex! You don't need to see that!

A dear friend trusted me with a secret that becomes public information tomorrow and I'm thrilled that none of the dozens of people I've told have ruined this for me yet!

Your twink is lovely, Hubble.

Another photo of me smirking with a martini in hand. Groundbreaking stuff over here.

I have a genuine question. Why do commercials for iPhone games I've never heard of have higher budgets than most televisions shows?

The biggest celebrities in the world are doing ads for Galaxy Invader Mobile and Kwazy Cupcakes.

first the tony and now this