The Vulture of Ridicule

ships are personified as women because of the urge to obliterate a distant warship with several salvos of armor piercing shells from the main battery is obviously a feminine trait.

[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop]
Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins
Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands

Hotot

counting photons on average

iniquity of the legsfather upon his children

what would you do if you were one of the smallest carnivorans in Africa?

It was a humorously perilous business

Puddles and Curs

also consider

i definitely used to be an "i live for the glow of leaves lit through by sunlight" guy, but now i think i'm something else

all these passing things

i used to get more compliments on my hair when i was younger and skinnier

causing dick to be jailed

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗

today i have the kind of mental illness that made me decide that I should use my introductory general chemistry homework as an opportunity to practice Gauss-Jordan Elimination (which took me 2 hours to barely remember how to do and is totally unnecessary).

spend and be spent

breathing is only a function indispensable to vitality

There’s orthodoxy!

make modern history a liar

all that stirs up the lees of things

teach a leveraged man to fish and prop up an entire system of material organization

selling covered calls on teaching a man to fish

i make 1 million dolllars a day in passive income teaching a man to teach a man to fish, and you can do it to with this one ancient trick no one is talking about

teach a man to teach a man how to fish, and you have a multi level marketing scheme

The circumstance was this.

student blood council

this isn’t like you

you're telling me a poli tical this art?