SwishComms

Social media rule #1: The moment you figure out how a platform works, it changes.

Them: "Hey, I'm not a social media expert, but..."

Social media manager:

There's nothing louder than a silent truth.

WWF didn't overload you with stats.

They made you look twice at cocoa, tuna, noodles, coffee... and see what lies beneath.

The face of a species that disappears with every purchase.

Your snack has a side effect.

Your habits have a habitat cost.

You haven't really worked in social media until a client says "just make it go viral" with a straight face.

Marketing and Legal when it's time to "align" on the campaign.

POV: Client approves the social content with no revisions.

The unofficial social media mantra: "No, the link in the Instagram caption doesn't work. Yes, I know. Yes, still."

Without a doubt, the best thing about working in social media is that no one (absolutely no one) ever tells you how to do your job.

Actual footage of a social media manager reviewing yesterday's metrics.

Me after responding 'Sounds good' to an email that ruined my day.

The 5 stages of every marketing launch:

1️⃣ Denial: "We have months. No stress."
2️⃣ Procrastination: "Let's circle back next week."
3️⃣ Chaos: "Wait... why isn't anything done?"
4️⃣ Panic: "WE NEED MORE TIME!"
5️⃣ Launch day magic: "We did it. We are geniuses!"

Relatable? 👀

"We need this to go viral."

Of course you do, Steve.

Because nothing gets people talking like… a product roadmap update.

Being a social media manager means thinking in memes before words.

Yes, this is a skill.

Yes, I'm proud of it.

You haven't really worked in social media until you've scheduled a post for the wrong client... and realized it five minutes too late.

"Working in marketing must be so much fun."

Why did the SEO expert break up with PPC?

Because he wanted something organic and long-term.

What happens when a pencil brand borrows from Apple's playbook?

Faber-Castell hijacked one of Apple's most iconic campaigns (Shot on iPhone) and somehow made it even better.

Shot on Faber-Castell features hyperrealistic pencil drawings that, at first glance, look like high-resolution photographs.

Repeat after me: B2B marketing doesn't have to be boring.

"On my roadmap" = Not happening, but thanks for asking.
"Let me check with my team" = No.
"Possibly" = Definitely no.
"We're seeing headwinds" = The company is bleeding money.

Ever wonder what corporate speak really means? Here's your translation guide.

"Let's align on this" = You have to agree with me.
"It's a stretch goal" = This will never happen, but thanks for the effort.
"Let's circle back" = This will never be discussed again.

Me waiting to be let into the Zoom meeting.

When Legal approves the caption of your social post without a single edit.

From now on this will be my new email intro:
"I hope this email dramatically changes the course of your day."

That black slice? Yes, it should have been smaller.

Viral posts are built on insights, not instincts.

You share the 13th version of a social asset.
The feedback you get from your client:

Want an SEO joke? I've got a high-ranking one for you.

An SEO marketer walks into a restaurant, diner, café, bistro, eatery, food joint, fine dining, casual dining, best restaurants near me...

You open your LinkedIn DMs:

"Hi! I wanted to reach out because I just drank water and I'm guessing you hydrate too. Got 30 min to chat today?"

Focus beats FOMO. Social media success isn't about being everywhere—it's about being in the right place with the right content.

Just because a platform exists doesn't mean you have to be on it.

If you're posting everywhere and getting nowhere, here's why:

4️⃣ Acceptance: Deep breath. I will log on and meet my fate.
5️⃣ Relief: The CEO just wants to know why the company's LinkedIn post has "only" 500 likes.

The five stages of "Can we hop on a quick call?" panic.

1️⃣ Denial: It's fine. It's just a quick call... right?
2️⃣ Dread: Frantically checks emails, Slack and soul for any mistakes.
3️⃣ Bargaining: Maybe it's good news? Maybe I'll get a raise?