The Walking Punchline™️

HARD agree 🥴 was shown some chats between my line brothers in college and I wanted to throw up

(text thread between two people: Person 1: How do you think I feel? CRUSTY TOES DEVIL TATTOO Person 2: BEER CAN Person 1: RED HEADED FREAK DADDY

That summer was a fun one 😂 everybody had a name from something they said/requested, something weird she'd discover after meeting them, or from the background of tindr pictures of declined meetups (like the crusty toes)

OH YEAH one of their contact names was just "🍓🍓🍓" because he said he wanted her to eat a bowl of strawberries after he nutted on them 💀 (she did not oblige) and I edited the "right in front of my salad" meme to say strawberries for his contact picture sksjskksdj

A friend of mine (who is very cuffed and happy now) used to frequently book dick appointments through tindr so you know the nicknames were flying 😭

Febreeze Can and Shrimp were both related to size

Chlamydia Clay is self explanatory 💀

I'll have to try to remember some more

My mom called this dude she used to talk to Handy Man because he had a deformity and a shriveled up hand. I almost felt bad until I found out he was a hobosexual who frequently lied to her and tried to make her get rid of her dogs to focus her resources on him 😒

Most definitely

out here terrorizing random soccer moms at the grocery store 💀💀💀

3️⃣3️⃣3️⃣

a woman wearing a pair of earrings with an x on them is dancing with other women ALT: a woman wearing a pair of earrings with an x on them is dancing with other women

ayyyye

I'm about to start going up to random people and asking "can you see me???"

Cute ass hypothetical that the skyline took straight to hell for some reason 😭 like why do folks hate fun?? Purely IMAGINARY fun at that?!

Yep. Unspoken rules seemingly threaded into our dna that will apparently cause us to explode if we don't follow them 🙃

Right like if there's any intermingling it needs to be under interracial 👉🏿🚪

It wassss 🤤 I got potstickers for an app too

Teriyaki chicken & salmon hibachi 😋

Cute!

I love that it's keeping count! I added 500 lol

we still get our png edits out the mud over here 😤

Hard agree.

a young boy wearing sunglasses is sitting at a table with plates of food ALT: a young boy wearing sunglasses is sitting at a table with plates of food

omfg

putting my order in and flicking my tongue at the screen and these pictures omg I'm so ready 😭

Totally forgot the word "jerk" before salmon (which is on a whole different level) but whatever

Built by women who refused to shrink. Celebrating women who take up space, break the rules and build legacies 💼🔥

HAPPY WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH! 🤎

Search results of posts containing "people who can't read" from user @athodyd.bsky.social

Just block these clowns, don't even waste your precious time/energy engaging

two women are walking down a sidewalk in front of a parking lot . ALT: two women are walking down a sidewalk in front of a parking lot .

It's Women's History Month AND we put the extendo clip on BHM? U know what? HELL YEAH! Let's meet in the middle and dance all night🤗

a man wearing sunglasses is making a funny face while holding a key . ALT: a man wearing sunglasses is making a funny face while holding a key .

I think there must be a crack in my screen or something... SEVENTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS???

boffum got a lil crack in em 🥴

one has such a delicious hearty creamy sauce and the other has an amazingly spicy yet flavorful sauce 🫨

I feel like new Jane is coming and my every atom is QUAKING

.....or do I want the salmon bowl with the cabbage, plantain, rice & peas??? 😵‍💫

h e l p