Cynda

inject more hyperpop straight into my veins

back on my bullshit

i have lost 15lbs since i started doing this very epic

went way outside of my comfort zone today but i think it might actually lead to something hopefully

worst part of online meetings is seeing your webcam preview in the bottom corner and trying not to look at it so you dont dissociate

ordered apple juice at a restaurant today and the waitress asked me at 24 years old if i want it in a normal or kids sized cup i see this as an absolute win

i havent studied japanese since the Other Thing popped up i gotta get back on that

itll probably be fine but things would be a lot easier if i broke out of my 10yr+ long period of permanent disassociation like 5-6 years earlier

YouTube video by Falcom Music Channel Zero no Kiseki OST - St. Ursula Medical College

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfFL...

been stuck in my own head for a few hours tonight but at least the election results from tonight are promising, maybe there is some hope left in the world

wish i could preview how my life will look in a year to know if its all gonna be worth it or not

i dont know what the hell is goin on up there in the noggin but all i know is this neuro is not very typical

i wish i could stay in my room foreverrr and never have to interact with anyone the world is too scary for ppl like me

the first month has been completed

found a jumbo sized stick today

its extremely unhealthy though because if im ever not good at something or dont put my 100% into something at all times (like mkc staff work) i start to spiral and think that a waste of space on this earth and would be better off not here which is very bad!!!

there's definitely some feelings of needing to make up for the fact that im born disabled and thus feeling like i need to be extraordinary at everything i do to make up for the burden i place on others but idk

i think my whole self-concept is based on what i can do and what i am good at rather than who i am and im not really sure how to change that

i wonder what having an easy life is like

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i think the usa should be permanently in daylight savings and europe should be permanently in regular time

ive gone from sitting in my gaming chair all day to walking about a mile a day in the last 4 months. finally caring about myself is pretty cool

i need to stop tying my self worth to how good i am at video games!!!

Wordle 1590 5/6*

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it may be too early to call right now but magic might just be real

'cause some day i will get my life back
promise i'll be right back, promise i'll be right back

i have a ticking timebomb that will explode at some time i can't predict or i could just choose to manually detonate it at a time of my choosing. not sure which is better because the explosion will be beeg regardless of the option i choose

today pretty much definitively proves that i have indeed found the correct answer and i havent been playing tricks on myself which is cool

ik somehow i will return to doubter mode within a few days tho lmao

:3