Donald J. Trump Porky Minch
Had an abusive father who bullied Fred Trump Jr. for being a “loser” and sent Donald to military school. Had an abusive father who physically struck his children.
Was a bully in childhood, throwing cake at birthday parties and knocking down other kids’ blocks. Was a bully in childhood, insulting Ness, kidnapping Paula, and stealing a Phase Distorter.
Uses his power to obtain sex: Miss Teen USA changing room, “grab ’em by the pussy” Uses his power to obtain sex: “My job is tickling Master Porky under his chins.” —lady in the “Fan Room”
Promotes materialism to pacify the populace and sell scam products: Trump phone, Trump bible, Trump coin, Trump steaks, Trump University… Promotes materialism to pacify the populace and sell scam products: “These are called Happy Boxes. Just by having one in your home, you’ll become happy!”
—Fassad
Constructed flashy buildings in New York City, including a tower named after himself. Constructed flashy buildings in New Pork City, including a tower named after himself.
Is obese, somewhat comical, and somewhat scary. Is obese, somewhat comical, and somewhat scary.
Commands an army of masked enforcers called ICE. Commands an army of masked enforcers called the Pigmasks.
Has narcissism stemming from insecurity: “Donald is not simply weak, his ego is a fragile thing that must be bolstered every moment because he knows deep down that he is nothing of what he claims to be.” —Mary Trump Has narcissism stemming from insecurity: “With my eternal life, I will see the world through to its end. Until everyone who won’t like me is gone.” —Porky Minch
Scorns freedom of thought: called journalists “enemies of the people”, wants to prosecute flag-burners, tried to deport Rümeysa Öztürk for writing an op ed, has cancelled hundreds of student visas for social media opinions Scorns freedom of thought: ended DCMC’s concert for not playing his theme song, used Thunder Tower to strike the homes of people without Happy Boxes
Every day, the U.S. looks more like Mother 3.
17.02.2026 02:36 —
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The message from the White House this morning is that, once again, it falls on ordinary American citizens to remain calm and professional when dealing with the heavily armed agents of the government because they are very emotional and might fly off into a murderous rage at the slightest insult.
11.01.2026 15:19 —
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“Sometimes public service requires standing firm in the face of threats, which is what this unambiguously is”
How did the banker dude get here before the leaders of every self-mythologizing media organization or even Congress
12.01.2026 01:06 —
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Kat, could you have your team post a copy of the indictment on CourtListener? The public deserves to know what the government’s “logic” is for this prosecution.
29.10.2025 21:46 —
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Also I highly doubt she was in the room watching the massage lol
23.08.2025 04:18 —
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I'll give you that AI has us beat on speed and quantity right now, and that the technology has tremendous potential to advance. But right now it just ain't the same
12.08.2025 23:46 —
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That's fine, but humanity does. We produce great poems like this all the time. Auden didn't just write 1 poem, and there's an Auden for every literary era.
What is defined as "great" merely changes from time to time, language to language, curriculum to curriculum...
12.08.2025 23:45 —
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September 1, 1939
I sit in one of the dives
Dawg, just read "September 1, 1939" and try to claim AI is producing this level of quality consistently.
poets.org/poem/septemb...
12.08.2025 23:37 —
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Bro, count the syllables. Especially near the end, they make no sense
12.08.2025 23:33 —
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Comic. [long message with unreadable text that includes lots of punctuation marks like semi colons and em dashes as well as citations.] Highlighted line at the bottom zoomed in reads: Not ChatGPT output—I’m just like this. [caption] I’ve had to start adding this disclaimer to my messages.
Disclaimer
xkcd.com/3126/
12.08.2025 02:34 —
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Remember 89 days ago when Trump announced that he would do "90 deals in 90 days"?
Now he says he'll get those trade deals done later.
Sure. Just like when he said he wouldn't “touch” Medicaid, and he would cut costs for families.
Donald Trump has zero credibility.
08.07.2025 20:36 —
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"Partial molar free energy" is so satisfying to say. Especially "partial molar". It sounds very... thermochemical 💪
08.07.2025 13:13 —
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Ginger!
25.06.2025 10:24 —
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ChatGPT sure loves the “This is not just X – it’s Y” construction.
“This is not just a trivial musing from a deranged mind – it’s a revolutionary theoretical insight.”
23.06.2025 14:56 —
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The "I Haven't Heard About That" Strategy
07.06.2025 05:30 —
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Hold on babe, was there supposed to be a link?
17.05.2025 01:24 —
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Donald Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” was just released. It would terminate health insurance for 14 MILLION Americans.
This is not a drill. We need to fight back.
14.05.2025 00:35 —
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Did you know? Research shows that letting students solve problems before teaching the method helps teachers learn how students think, which leads to more effective teaching. Check out the video to learn more!
youtube.com/shorts/s1dFR...
09.05.2025 20:00 —
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I have COVID and my car was stolen. Great start to the week 🙃
29.04.2025 21:41 —
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Cognitive bias is not an excuse for permitting or cheering on injustice before your very eyes.
We have history standards for a reason. If a person failed to learn from the Holocaust, they deserve an F.
Education allows us to rise above our basest psychology, not embrace it.
14.04.2025 14:10 —
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I quite like them; they're a compact way of presenting kernel density plots that allows for easy visual comparison.
17.04.2025 19:20 —
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Would you excuse sexism in a community that is sexist (e.g. Blizzard)? Should we excuse people who cheer on the kidnapping of immigrants for constitutionally-protected speech?
How can morality be consistent in a world where "everyone was doing it" is an excuse?
14.04.2025 14:22 —
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Cognitive bias is not an excuse for permitting or cheering on injustice before your very eyes.
We have history standards for a reason. If a person failed to learn from the Holocaust, they deserve an F.
Education allows us to rise above our basest psychology, not embrace it.
14.04.2025 14:10 —
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Good Will Hunting for sure!
14.04.2025 03:41 —
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