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Aaron Schmaltz

@aschmaltzy.bsky.social

50% Whimsy / 50% Pumpernickel www.gerpagoods.com

28 Followers  |  92 Following  |  28 Posts  |  Joined: 22.01.2025  |  1.9828

Latest posts by aschmaltzy.bsky.social on Bluesky

Are we human?
Or are we tired?
My brain is sleepy.
I feel so old.

29.07.2025 02:17 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Friendly PSA: a hidden enemy is ALWAYS WORSE than a seen enemy.

02.06.2025 20:19 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Someone please tell me your go-to fever dream movie because A Troll in Central Park is playing nonstop in my brain.

27.05.2025 20:59 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

But at this point Meow-meow has already transformed again into Princess Anna from Frozen 2, so all my meow is moot.

22.05.2025 02:32 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I then explain that there's no way in hell that the ability to transform into a cat is a recessive traitβ€”that in fact I am the OG Meow-meow and therefore my knowledge of Meow extends light years beyond any conceivable doubt of my supreme meow meow meow, meow meow meow.

22.05.2025 02:32 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

My toddler occasionally transforms into a cat named "Meow-meow". Meow-meow is feisty, and when I try to converse with her in what I can only assume is the cat phonetic alphabet, I'm informed that I, in fact, cannot speak Meow. Only Meow-meow can speak Meow (not daddies).

22.05.2025 02:32 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

I'm in this picture but my brain is too small to do anything about it.

21.05.2025 02:35 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

We had a mandatory AI training at work the other day, and I said "sorry but my Large Language Model is only accepting Costco food court hotdog inputs currently, and therefore no new knowledge will be necessary" but my request was denied.

21.05.2025 02:33 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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a cartoon character is smiling and saying `` isn 't it '' . ALT: a cartoon character is smiling and saying `` isn 't it '' .
14.03.2025 06:00 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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a cartoon llama from the emperor 's new groove is making a funny face and saying yesss . ALT: a cartoon llama from the emperor 's new groove is making a funny face and saying yesss .
14.03.2025 05:51 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

'FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER' is what I repeat to myself in bed as I doom scroll ad infinitum.

14.03.2025 05:34 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

YES

14.03.2025 05:33 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Do you think we're obsessed with Severance because characters in the show actually take daily atrocities seriously?

25.02.2025 15:15 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

This only took me <5 mins to respond to because I remember every single bathroom break I ever take!

24.02.2025 21:53 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

One of my favorite things about doing laundry is absolutely nothing at all.

24.02.2025 21:52 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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My annual β€œwhy do I live here” post

17.02.2025 14:46 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Yupppp exactly

15.02.2025 01:01 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
A sleepy dog

A sleepy dog

Sleepy pup πŸ₯±

03.02.2025 15:23 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

- But all in all, it’s a hell of a series. Refreshing, stark. There’s the final line, β€œwe are doomed to repeat our mistakes”, but there is also the small hope, the component inherent in our humanity, that in the most dire circumstances, begs us to help one another.
- And I like when Vi punch gud [4]

29.01.2025 21:53 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

- It’s a dichotomy, as is hextech itself I suppose. Or shimmer. They save life as well as destroy it.
- I wish season 2 were two seasons. There were many ideas flying around that I think could’ve been fleshed out more. I admit I also love the beautiful animation, and wish it could’ve continued. [3]

29.01.2025 21:53 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

- It’s interesting: this story takes one of the 2 time theories, that time is a loop. Viktor brings Jace the hextech that he brings Viktor to destroy the hextech.
- Time loops are often interpreted as β€œfate”, something Viktor praises and Jace condemns. [2]

29.01.2025 21:53 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Stray albeit late thoughts on #Arcane:

- So heimerdinger saw it all before: a sole being eliminating all life for a final β€œpeace”.
- He’s swept to another dimension, and he works to bring back the one person who could rewind a crucial final moments. [1]

29.01.2025 21:53 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Where we’re going we don’t need ROADS 😎

29.01.2025 21:31 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Microsoft Probing If DeepSeek-Linked Group Improperly Obtained OpenAI Data Microsoft Corp. and OpenAI are investigating whether data output from OpenAI’s technology was obtained in an unauthorized manner by a group linked to Chinese artificial intelligence startup DeepSeek, ...

Oh no, the Chinese plagiarism machine might have plagiarized the American plagiarism machine

search.app/gLKPBELL2weQ...

29.01.2025 12:54 β€” πŸ‘ 19159    πŸ” 2452    πŸ’¬ 646    πŸ“Œ 215
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How I wish phone alarms worked:

28.01.2025 02:43 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Are we human? Or are we soup? My belly’s quite full. My stove is cold.

27.01.2025 06:06 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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My life’s goal is to correctly guess β€œShrek” in every single word game possible.

26.01.2025 15:10 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I'm here because I heard the sky was bluer.

25.01.2025 16:19 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

This is just to say

I have taken
several shits
all over
your house

which
you were probably
hoping
I wouldn't do

Forgive me
they are stinky
so sweet
and so warm

25.01.2025 16:15 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

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