Swamp hag🐊

Publix sushi in one hand, pub sub in the other. and The Dinosaurs documentary playing on Netflix

My eyes disappear when I smile I fear

Jojo siwa sounds like she’s been smoking a pack of cigs everyday for the last 64 years.

I get to be a nanny for my best friend again, this time for her second kiddo. It’s insane yet a beautiful gift being able to grow & learn together through our 20s. Watched each other bloom & thrive in our 30s. now we’re mid 30s & we get to do motherhood & watch the fruits of our labor grow & bloom 🌱

shaking ass and smoking grass

My sons favorite comfort show is Little Bear🐻🤎

I hate to say it but the Crocs Tulum Strappy Sandals were cute and I wish they still made them cause I need a pair.

Todays date is 3OH!3. This is your reminder to never trust a hoe

My son has become obsessed with Trash Truck lately

Question of the day: is my son sick? Teething? Allergies?
I really just hope it’s his last set of teeth coming in; cause he was super sick a month ago.

Aldi has some good stuff for kiddos right now! I got my son some balancing stones (which I got the triangle ones & they are STURDY, yes I tested them myself) & an Aldi Play (their pretend play sets) kids deli & snacks set (this will be our 3rd set) for $12.99ea. AOS never fails!

Over the last month hes amazed me with how smart he is . Idk if my favorite thing was when he finally signed “more” last week. Or the fact he says “agua” for water. Multilingual baby for the win!

My son is officially a year and a half today. I have a lot of feelings about it 🥲

Don’t get me fucking started on fuckinggggff chrisssssssss. I will fucking kick his ass like get your fucking goofy fucking ass out of here

Also why is Alex even doing this? Like no thoughts ever. If I fucking hear him say nomad one more time. Like the way Ashely and Priya ganged up on him like GET HIM!

I want to fight Chris WHOMST DOES HE THINK HE ISSSSSSSSSSS

This season is just so awkward like I don’t know how to explain it. But it’s giving awkward lol

I made an easy access snack drawer on my counter for my son and I showed him how to open it. Watching him climb up his learning tower and picking out a snack like a biggie boy is just 🥲

Apple your days are numbered. I’d appreciate it if your keyboard would work correctly and not like I’m having a major stroke mid sentence. Also why did this take forever to write cause again YOUR KEYBOARD SUCKS.

I forgot I let my husband pick out some stuff from savage x fenty early last week when he was home from a work trip. the package arrived today and guess who had to leave Friday on a work trip lol. Guess he’ll just have to see 😈

A collection of illustrations of crocodiles and alligators against a soft green and yellow background. They are playfully either swimming or loafing around, playing with fish, taking care of their young and chilling in the water. The crocodiles and alligators are mostly green and yellow, save for an albino alligator. They’re so loving and fun, these toothy friends!

River puppies 🐊 #art

Alex and Chris fucking suck and need to get punched in their faces

Watching love is blind season 10 and per usual who the fuck do these dudes think they are?

Why is Tyra wearing that inspector gadget ass coat?!

Life is soup but i am fork caption over a picture of a cat in front of a backdrop

dream job

me when i see the moon: THE MOON!

I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!!!

Also grow the fuck up and use a fucking knife

The way Regina George screams in that one scene in Mean Girls it’s legit me every single time!!!