—— 𝓡𝐎𝐘 𝓗𝐀𝐑𝐏𝐄𝐑.

Both— and he never finds out about this.

Damian Wayne, I knew it from the moment I set eyes on you that you were the devil in disguise.

What do you want— ?

// just a random- sigh. Itll be fine

// dont 🤺 be 🤺 weird 🤺 in my 🤺 dms !

DUDE NO!

Please don't tell him any of this he'll kill me.

Gonna make Jason have my baby.

[ Only saying these things because he's not up. ]

Being an alpha male is great because I love putting Jason in his place. If you know what I mean.

The guy's crazy for me.

[ He absolutely is NOT doing that. ]

Squeezing his boobs is like free therapy.

"I feel so cold, Jason..."

"I can't— I can't...I think this is it." Hand out in front, he would, of course, place it firm against Jason's chest.

"Wait- hold on. Something's healing me..."

"Over where–" He added, eyes closed tight while tears from his — 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐲 (an onion) remained spilling down his face.

"Jaybird..? Is that you?? Jason—? I can't see...It's so dark." He added in dramatically, holding his plate while attempting to reach for the other while waddling closer. ++

I need photographic evidence.

"I don't know, Jaybird. Are you done putting me through inhumane torture methods???" He shot back between his sniffles & heavy tears from his food prep.

Though, he had managed to chop some onion, the slices were rather uneven.

"Order up..."

[ A look from his left to his right, being sure it was just the two of them before he spoke. ]

Keeping Jason out of trouble is like telling the clouds not to bring rain.

But when he is in trouble at least I'll be there to have his back. Like he's always had mine..

So you agree. You think you have big boobs?

Like you have big boobs?

Totally factual, by the way. Source? My eyes.

Oh my god the bagge! Insane! He is just so edgy and emo all the time. It's crazy.

And he cries too. Like all the time, really sensitive guy. Likes to get in touch with his feminine side. That's why he needs me around to keep him in check.

....

Yea, Jaybird?

You know he came to me— He did. He came to me and said.. Roy, Roy, I'm so lonely and you're such a hot alpha male. I have to have you! I'll pay anything!

So I just, took pity on the guy. Y'know?

It was torture & Roy had known torture. He'd been beaten to a pulp more times than he could count — but at this rate?

He felt that had been a lot more merciful than this.

"That's what they all say—" He'd poke his tongue between his lips out at the other man, focus returning to the onion as he sliced into it.

Despite his best efforts, the tears in his eyes welled & then overflowed.. the stinging fumes from the onion making it near impossible to keep both eyes open.+

Definitely not enough.

So. Roy and I are dating.

... Yeah.

He pays me.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Get a hot boyfriend and suddenly he expects you to cut onions for him. Sure.

Love is fake.

Still my etai yazi.

I remember the days when my daughter looked at me like I was the coolest guy around.

They grow up so fast.

An onion - 1

Roy Harper - 0

There it sat on the counter, silently mocking him ...

Or it just sat there because it was an onion.

Regardless, Roy took hold of a knife as he'd carefully cut into it, his nose upturned while trying to avoid its pungent fumes.