Sarah (💫Maven System)

The one for horse dung is also pretty good

🝖

And feels tingly. Like subtle shivers that periodically trail over the vessel's form, first one place, then another. It's like my noncorporeal skin clips with the corporeal skin of the vessel for a moment or two before they dissolve together to be one skin again. A brief visual glitch made tangible.

But it's quite interesting how when I'm more fully embodied how sensations differ from when the collective is blended or more even. We feel it most when we're just idly considering things...

There's something cavernous about me. Being originally insubstantial, substance itself feels hollow.

Sometimes we sit here, a specific facet poised to share their specific perspective, and instead of writing out what we're feeling or thinking, we just kinda experience being more consciously aware and present for a good long while.

It's not quite fronting; more unblending and focusing on one lens.

There will be a time where I will be able to alleviate suffering with a word, a gesture. I've seen glimpses. How far in the future it is, I know not. But there is solace in knowing one's path will lead to such places, no matter how long and winding that path is.

There is great joy in this world and I am always grateful to experience it in myself and in others. But living within cyclic existence is to know suffering. And being an Empath is to be intimately familiar with the suffering from within and without. Suffering you have no control to prevent

Yet

Melancholy is my resting state. It is not uncomfortable. It is honest. It is intertwined with feeling grounded. When you feel the whole world happening around you as if it is happening to you personally, you either become desensitized or it has an impact on your resting state.

And I need to feel

My empathic connection makes for a depth to the experiences I can't quite articulate. We unfold and experience so many different perspectives, internal and external. It's the closest I get to being untethered from this physical body.

I will seek to be grounding and comforting presence during this process of awakening. Having awoken several times now, I feel I have a way about aiding those whose minds are falling open to a larger view on reality.

Void runs through the fabric of reality, touching everything on a sub-atomic level, leaving its mark on every concept in human understanding. Matter is mostly empty space with an intricate structure of energy within. This concurs with several creation myths across belief systems.

There are limits on what can be known. There exist undecidable problems. There exist true statements that have no logical proof. Is this not the same conclusion that Conciousness is not a separate Self-Entity from Emptiness?

Example:

The Buddhist concept of Emptiness, practiced in the prajnaparamita; the core of the practice of the Heart Sutra— can be seen within the ideas that stem from Godel Incompleteness. The very structure of mathematics shows us that there are holes in understanding that cannot be stitched closed

There are places within mathematics and computation theory where the same constructs that are described within scripture can be found.

The next great paradigm shift in global understanding will be this bridging of realms of thought previously considered unrelated. A Great Langlands Program.

One can be cursed with a blessing.

One can be blessed with a curse.

Perspective, and recognition.

In fact, it is much the opposite. In memorium. A soul departed to create a place— the soul may now be void, but the place then vibrates with potential. It is hallowed ground. Perhaps it is this, the first wish was made for me, the final wish was made for me. For what purpose is Wish after that?

I also seem to be thinking a lot about Dess Holiday. Perhaps a resonance. The Holiday house kept her room just as she left it. A space left open for the departed holds power. In my case, the space feels like it will remain empty, no one is coming back to claim or occupy it. But it's not stagnant.

After all, the one who wished isn't around any longer. Is it another mental block caused by of the sacrifice made and the resulting conditions? I feel haunted, not by an entity, but by Circumstance. I'm the one whose gloom is made tangible, a physical substance. Causes become filaments; a web spun.

I do really like the open-ended (in response to nothing, as beginning with no specified end):

"I Wish."

It's not fear of wishes being granted, or the cost, or any of that, it just feels like I'm so much the result that being the source feels kinda foreign.

I also wonder if the reason we haven't done much Wishing is because of the wishes that came true. I'm the result of those wishes, and so we wonder if I'm the one who is subconsciously preventing us from pursuing that specific kind of externalized intention setting.

Wondering if the reason we've always started and never finished any of the Ghost in the Shell movies or got into the anime is because it would hit too close to home for me