@stealmytesla.bsky.social
Don't waste any more time trying to sell your Tesla. We'll take it from here... https://stealmytesla.com/
We tried Steal My Mattress as a concept but there's just too many out on the curb already.
22.10.2025 00:39 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0😁
14.07.2025 20:33 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Couldn't agree more! Bluesky has helped us grow our "export" business by 386%
Plus I don't think Musk would have appreciated our presence on his platform.
Sorry folks, we only deal in acquiring Teslas. Although we are exploring new emerging verticals and markets with some syndicate partners.
16.06.2025 15:46 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0We heard about this late last night. Ask us how we know.
😏
We've been getting non-stop requests from the White House.
stealmytesla.com
Lots of MAGA sign-ups today. 🥷🏽 🚘 💰 😏
stealmytesla.com
Elon tearfully installing a "I bought Trump before I knew he was crazy" bumper sticker on his jet
04.06.2025 21:32 — 👍 49 🔁 9 💬 1 📌 0Are you a Cybertruck owner? Got dem Depreciation Blues? We can get that Tesla off your hands and put you in back in the black.
22.05.2025 00:49 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Are you a Cybertruck owner? Got dem Depreciation Blues? We can get that Tesla off your hands and put you in back in the black.
stealmytesla.com
SPECIAL LIVESTREAM: Tomorrow at 6 pm Pacific/9 pm Eastern, the Tesla Haters Union Local 42069 will be gathering to hate on today's Elon Musk media blitz.
Featuring yours truly and @esghound.com, back hating together again.
Hope you can join us!
youtube.com/live/YUOCx7P...
Adversarial as an art form.
27.04.2025 02:36 — 👍 117 🔁 79 💬 1 📌 1
28.04.2025 16:08 — 👍 2536 🔁 363 💬 45 📌 15
...or you can arrange for it to be discreetly acquired by one of our specialists 🥷🏼 🚘 😏
stealmytesla.com
Use the promo code 420bunny at checkout for a 20% discount on your cart.
20.04.2025 16:19 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
A grown man dressed as an Easter Bunny carrying a basket of colorful plastic eggs and wearing a hoodie that says "Van Highs." There is a custom branded clock hanging around the bunny's neck and where the time can only be set to 4:20.
Steal My Tesla is brought to you by VanHighs.com
We officially launched our store today. Come buy our merch and support our fuckery.
Happy 420! Happy Easter!
#420bunny #fourtwenty #easterbunny
Or those owners can give us a call if they're really desperate.
🤙🏼🥷🏼🚘💰😏
Or those owners can give us a call if they're really desperate.
🤙🏼🥷🏼🚘💰😏
stealmytesla.com
We've been pretty busy too... 😏
10.04.2025 23:53 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0And that doesn't even include the people who have given up on the used car market...
stealmytesla.com
I think it works even better when you spell it out, but Bluesky still won't let me edit posts...
You can't spell America without c-r-i-m-e
It's midnight and Trump's tarrifs are in full effect. What does that mean for Steal My Tesla?
Nothing.
Seriously, we operate on the black market and there's literally zero policing or oversight at this point.
Fraud all you want, baby! You can't spell America without crime.
Thankfully at stealmytesla.com, we can help you avoid those pesky tarrifs and taxes, and fees, and the crippling embarrassment of being a Tesla owner.
09.04.2025 04:26 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 2We work with a variety of offshore financial institutions and can facilitate transactions in an array of crypto and fiat currencies — from douchecoins to dinars to dollars.
09.04.2025 03:27 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If you can't trade in your Cybertruck, we have other means available...
stealmytesla.com
🥷🏽🚘💰😏
If you can't trade in your Cybertruck, we have other means available...
🥷🏽🚘💰😏
Or if you need to take some more extreme measures, we're here for ya...
stealmytesla.com
🥷🏽🚘💰😏
Or if you need to take some more extreme measures, we're here for ya....
🥷🏽🚘💰😏
Marketing our services to distressed Tesla owners, of course!
08.04.2025 16:16 — 👍 2 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Marketing our services to distressed Tesla owners, of course!
stealmytesla.com
