Amber 🦋

When asked “realistically how many times do you think you could smooch me in one day?” My husband answered confidently and in all sincerity “100 times” like it was really something

cut my bangs too short shh dont tell 🤫

why was the love witch removed from shudder before I had the emotional growth to watch it and fully appreciate it

can someone confirm to me if pufferfish are real

this is going to be the thing that gets me on the right bluesky algorithms

“I strongly condemn this incident that I have devoted myself to facilitating. It is an unacceptable tragedy, and I will continue to do absolutely nothing to prevent future similar events.”

And what a last four it was #LetterboxFriday #LastFourWatched

It’s diabolical to release new renee rapp album, the hunting wives, and new chappell roan all in one weekend

I can’t believe for a second that I almost considered NOT watching The Hunting Wives

I revere pamela anderson in a way that is very serious and not a joke

you can’t even comment “cunt” on a tiktok video anymore stop silencing me

one of the bravest, most freeing things you can do as an adult is to change the phone number you’ve had since junior high

“Not even for dinner with the Kushners?” remains one of the funniest things anyone has ever said

always thinking about little green inch worms

a woman is standing in front of a microphone and a piano . ALT: a woman is standing in front of a microphone and a piano .

the doctor had to switch to a smaller speculum for my iud removal

Should I tell them what I constantly hear blasting from your phone all the time

Y’all are ALL about to get gassed up

my favorite thing to do in the world rn is to get high and do a cute lil commenting spree on tik tok

new pope goofin

(@jumpinjehoshaphat.bsky.social)

Heavy sleeper wife vs. always locks himself out husband

Nothing will ever be more fun than getting high and watching bloopers

*motioning generically over my body* this thing holds so much rage and despair

Stop taking the high road and being nice to evil asshats y’all are pissing me off

lmfao i just heard from god and he’s real mad at you christians you guys are fucked

He keeps asking me to look at it

@jumpinjehoshaphat.bsky.social got a cowboy hat for cowboy carter tour and it has transformed him. He keeps wearing it around the house. He’s reached his final form. There’s no going back from this.

Spotify DJ just eased Hampstead by Ariana Grande into Thought I was Dead by Tyler the Creator

ha i know that’s right brother

serious question…are we actually paying on students loans once they are off forbearance orrrr