Board game designers: OK, you're going to need a 7-foot wide table to play this game.

Colbert has managed to carve out a niche as being kind, moral, just and patriotic while also showing an intelligent understanding of the Constitution.

He ran for office before, but it was a stunt and was rejected.

He absolutely should run against Graham in 2026.

I keep thinking about how those that often fly Confederate flags get really, really upset over seeing Mexican flags.

And it actually makes sense, historically.

Mexican-Americans were anti-Confederacy. The win at Cinco de Mayo stopped the French from aiding the CSA, leading to a Union win.

Look, I don't normally send letters to holes filled with water, but...

I hope this email finds you well.

On my way into the convention, I pop into a grocery store to get some fruit and a diet coke.

I then remember that my backpack doesn't have Imodium in it (if I had to guess, it's probably in my hiking pack). So I pick up some extra.

Put it all on the counter.

The cashier:

"Big plans for today?"

Naming a character Daniel Blake is a ... choice.

C'mon Daredevil, be weird.

Steph Curry's 12 3-pointers tonight marks the 20th time in NBA history that a player has scored 11 or more 3-pointers.

It also marks the 14th time Curry has scored 11 or more 3-pointers.

I'd like to think that I'm a smart man.

But I just figured out that John Cena's, "You can't see me" bit is a play on his last name.

Cena = Seen? Nah.

The Trolley Problem but with Thomas the Tank Engine.

Alone: Australia is also known as Alone: Cussing Edition, and I love it.

His expertise is convenience store items and somehow not counting to 37.

That last touchdown pushed the grid away from my win to my sister's win, so clearly that was a terrible finish.

Never. Sincerely, Niners fan.

The refs are calling the game like the check bounced this year.

You know, I never liked Nazi skinheads.

Tubi felt the weird urge to make me hate a whole new skinhead?

Kendrick representing Philadelphia fans with them climbing light poles.

Yeah I'm OK with the new Uncle Sam.

The Puppy Bowl is so rigged.

Noting this bowl is a touch down. 🌎❤️ #Superman - only in theaters July 11

I should get hazard pay for nights that I host when the speaker explodes.

They keep denying my request to change the title of "The Mandalorian & Grogu" to "Grogu Gonna Eat That"

Paul F. Tompkins as Darth Maul, kind of.

Here I have drawn Maul F. Tompkins.

My wife told me that my brain is “an interesting place”.

I follow a lot of magicians and a lot of gamers.

Apparently, Magifest and MAGfest were the same weekend this year.

Someone tried to suggest that Elon did what he did because he has Asperger's Syndrome.

Which makes sense, because Asperger's Syndrome is no longer terminology used for people with autism, and Hans Asperger was a Nazi.

It was a Nazi salute. He's a Nazi.

My dentist just told me to pray to the Bone God.
That's normal, right?