Richard Young

🎯🎯

There's nothing lukewarm about that. It's literally the take that could save the world. I'm serious.

The smart Leeds fan puts the price of a half of Tetleys on an improbable turnaround.

Man, but Spurs are hopeless. I kind of recognise the feeling though, so my joy at what seems an irreversible slide into the relegation zone is tempered by basic human empathy.

Nicest stadium in the Championship is something to boast about 😂

Also: poetic that Strand Larsen puts them ahead. If we'd signed him...

Spursing it up is even more powerful than doing a Leeds.

Daddy eats the chips but one sticks in his throat and he chokes.

He's only a T away from literary and satirical greatness.

I'm doing the Year 9 careers morning, and my number one piece of advice is that it's not too late to start habitual book-reading – "the single biggest thing that will improve your academic results, mental health and career prospects." (The only ones who listen will be existing book-readers...)

Missed the cut for the layout, but the contents is where I put the best puns anyway...

Just doing the contents page for the mag, and (too late) dreamed up a fantastic headline for @jamesrball.com 's piece of tech sovereignty: "This LAN is our LAN". Anyone? No? No takers?

Jesus, if that's real it's horrifying. "Unclassified" suggests the USN thinks it should be seen, too, but the effect it's had on me is quite the opposite of what the Trump regime might probably hope. (Whether the USN wants that effect - being staffed with sailors as it is - is another question...)

I incorporated in 2018 purely so that I could complete <global insurance and benefits giant>'s multi-form "onboarding" process which required me also to list my last three balance sheet totals "to the nearest million dollars". Oh, easy: $0, $0 and $0.

Although this one writing that book would be even funnier

a man in a suit and tie is standing in a room ALT: a man in a suit and tie is standing in a room

(Yes I know it's a different one, but any excuse...)

I've just used Trump in a coverline, and I'm not even sure that's going to be right by the 12th.

Won't someone think of the magazine editors going to press tomorrow, hacking copy written a fortnight ago, but not landing until next Thursday?

Take a the double with Tottenham - a no-brainer emotional al hedge.

Mate, they're already beans. Take the win.

Or if you might have to enter coalition with them to retain power. (Note to self: save this post for 2029...)

That's exactly what they *want you to think*. 🧐

You wanna pop yourself down to Carshalton High Street of a weekend and ask the nutters down there about their anti-vax opinions. It'll amaze you to learn they have a host of other beefs with the elite cabals ruling the planet, not least the value of pumping *more* CO2 into the atmosphere...

Slowly, then all of a sudden.

What's the word for coming to comment on a post and finding that someone else has already written more or less the thing you wanted to? My thesaurus isn't helping. (Perhaps I should use a German one...)

Pfft. In the 80s, we had proper fights. AGS vs. The Grange fifth-form, toe-to-toe.

(No, I did not witness these battles, but they were LEGENDARY! However, I can confirm four Grange lads were hospitalised after trying to mug my classmate Taro Shindo outside school. He was nails.)

Crime is weird. Courtesy of @charlesarthur.bsky.social and his Overspill newsletter, I learn of a gang of seven seemingly hardened criminals who went on a "four month rampage" netting £150,000. Assume 17 weeks, that's about £1,260 a head per week. Not exactly Costa del Crime getaway loot...

Contrarianism, entitlement, sport (the more violent the better), exceptionalism, conformity, support for the underdog (unless it matters), and above all oneupmanship. (Time we all admitted: nation states are soooo 1860s...)

"Watch Trump. Watch. Trump."

Any chance this will be streamed/recorded too? Planning a trip to the records office in the summer for a spot of digging...