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Paul Lander

@paullander.bsky.social

TV/comedy writer/Producer, award-winning columnist. His humor pieces have appeared in MAD, American Bystander, Weekly Humorist, McSweeneys, Humor Times, etc.

61,686 Followers  |  32,414 Following  |  7,583 Posts  |  Joined: 28.06.2023
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Posts by Paul Lander (@paullander.bsky.social)

News: Commanders across dozens of U.S. military bases told troops the war on Iran is part of "God's plan" so Trump can bring about "Armageddon"

News: Commanders across dozens of U.S. military bases told troops the war on Iran is part of "God's plan" so Trump can bring about "Armageddon"

News: so Trump can bring about "Armageddon." The Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF) has been
"inundated" with complaints since the U.S. and Israel launched attacks on Iran over the weekend, receiving more than 110 complaints from U.S. military personnel stationed at dozens of sites across the Middle East.
Journalist Jonathan Larsen broke the story, sharing specific complaints made by troops. One such complaint made by a noncommissioned officer reported that their commander had
"urged us to tell our troops that this was 'all part of God's divine plan' and he specifically referenced numerous citations out of the Book of Revelation referring to Armageddon and the imminent return of Jesus Christ."
"He said that 'President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth," the NCO continued. "He had a big grin on his face when he said all of this which made his message seem even more crazy."
MRFF told Larsen that over 110 complaints came

News: so Trump can bring about "Armageddon." The Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF) has been "inundated" with complaints since the U.S. and Israel launched attacks on Iran over the weekend, receiving more than 110 complaints from U.S. military personnel stationed at dozens of sites across the Middle East. Journalist Jonathan Larsen broke the story, sharing specific complaints made by troops. One such complaint made by a noncommissioned officer reported that their commander had "urged us to tell our troops that this was 'all part of God's divine plan' and he specifically referenced numerous citations out of the Book of Revelation referring to Armageddon and the imminent return of Jesus Christ." "He said that 'President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth," the NCO continued. "He had a big grin on his face when he said all of this which made his message seem even more crazy." MRFF told Larsen that over 110 complaints came

The Military Religious Freedom Foundation has received 110+ complaints from US service members across 30+ sites about commanders using religious rhetoric

Including calling the war with Iran "part of God's plan" and Trump "anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddonโ€

03.03.2026 23:57 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 727    ๐Ÿ” 418    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 50    ๐Ÿ“Œ 29

Damn. The Dow went down faster than Trump did on Bubba.

03.03.2026 16:42 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 14    ๐Ÿ” 4    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Damn. The Dow went down faster than Trump did on Bubba.

03.03.2026 16:42 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 14    ๐Ÿ” 4    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Salmon caught near Seattle are full of cocaine and antidepressants
And why restaurants price them by the gram...

02.03.2026 17:51 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 22    ๐Ÿ” 3    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Why Did I Walk into This Room? - Christy Heitger-Ewing Buy the Book:AmazonBarnes & NobleBraughler Books Published by: Braughler BooksRelease Date: February 2026Pages: 176ISBN13: 979-8-89390-096-5ย  OVERVIEW A book that reads like a conversation with your f...

A big woot, woot for my pal Christy Heitger-Ewing and the birth of her new book into the world. I liked it so much I provided a blurb. And meant every word!

christyheitger-ewing.com/books/why-di...

03.03.2026 02:52 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 4    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Hey. Hey.

03.03.2026 15:05 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

๐Ÿ’™

03.03.2026 14:30 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
1820 Missouri Compromise passes, allowing Missouri to join the United States despite slavery still being legal
1913 Woman suffrage procession through Washington, D.C. organized by Alice Paul and Lucy Burns and led by Inez Milholland. Ida B. Wells marched with her Illinois delegation despite blacks being told to march in a separate section.
1931 "The Star-Spangled Banner" officially becomes US national anthem by congressional resolution; lyrics by Francis Scott Key in
1814
1956 Elvis Presley's 1st hit in Billboard's top 10: "Heartbreak Hotel"
1991 Los Angeles police officers severely beat motorist Rodney King, the beating is famously captured on amateur video and later leads to riots when the police officers are acquitted
1992 US President George H. W. Bush apologizes for raising taxes after pledging not to
2021 US President Joe Biden criticizes lifting of COVID-19 restrictions by Texas and Mississippi as "Neanderthal thinking"

1820 Missouri Compromise passes, allowing Missouri to join the United States despite slavery still being legal 1913 Woman suffrage procession through Washington, D.C. organized by Alice Paul and Lucy Burns and led by Inez Milholland. Ida B. Wells marched with her Illinois delegation despite blacks being told to march in a separate section. 1931 "The Star-Spangled Banner" officially becomes US national anthem by congressional resolution; lyrics by Francis Scott Key in 1814 1956 Elvis Presley's 1st hit in Billboard's top 10: "Heartbreak Hotel" 1991 Los Angeles police officers severely beat motorist Rodney King, the beating is famously captured on amateur video and later leads to riots when the police officers are acquitted 1992 US President George H. W. Bush apologizes for raising taxes after pledging not to 2021 US President Joe Biden criticizes lifting of COVID-19 restrictions by Texas and Mississippi as "Neanderthal thinking"

๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธHappy National Anthem Day๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ

๐ŸฆŠ Meet and Greet ๐ŸฆŠ

Morning everyone!

What is your favorite version that you have ever heard of this song?
I would have to say itโ€™s Whitney Houston in 1991 at the Super Bowl
Still gives me chills ๐Ÿซ‚

We will be okay

โค๏ธ Love โค๏ธ
๐ŸฆŠ Foxy ๐ŸฆŠ

03.03.2026 12:16 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 281    ๐Ÿ” 104    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 119    ๐Ÿ“Œ 5

๐Ÿ’™

03.03.2026 14:29 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Good morning #BreakfastCrew Resisters!

Happy Tuesday!โœŒ๏ธ๐Ÿ’™

Enjoy hiking, fishing, kayaking & relaxing at this beautiful lake house for todayโ€™s Virtual Meet & Greet! ๐Ÿšฃโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธโ€โžก๏ธโ›ฐ๏ธ

Cocktails, Mocktails, Coffee & Tea available!๐Ÿน๐Ÿฅ‚โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿซ–

Meet some new friends.๐Ÿ‘ซ๐Ÿ‘ญ๐Ÿ‘ฌ Everyone welcomed!

Comment โœ๏ธ & say Hi! ๐Ÿ‘‹
#BlueCrew

03.03.2026 12:52 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 518    ๐Ÿ” 139    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 251    ๐Ÿ“Œ 5

๐Ÿ’™

03.03.2026 14:29 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Post image

Good morning and Happy Tuesday ๐ŸŒฎ๐Ÿ‘‹

There will be parties tonight so join us!
Eyes are on Texas tonight for Talarico or Crockett!

If you want to connect with more resisters comment or leave a meme and I will help you!

Have a great day โค๏ธโ˜ฎ๏ธ

Repost
#BlueStormComin1

03.03.2026 12:38 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 414    ๐Ÿ” 167    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 74    ๐Ÿ“Œ 10

I liked all these Middle Eastern/ Persia experts better when they were immunology professors and Federal Law enforcement experts.

02.03.2026 01:53 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 12    ๐Ÿ” 5    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Princess Grace | Prince Disgrace Or, the princess and the pea brainโ€ฆ You decide

Thank ya MuddyUm for running this doodle on Medium by me and @cartoonydan.bsky.social

muddyum.net/princess-gra...

01.03.2026 18:38 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Arman Tsarukyan ignites massive brawl after punching Georgio Poullas. Probably over whose name should be final spelling bee word.

02.03.2026 18:21 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 1    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Ripping the Headlines Today,ย 3/2/26 Making fun of the headlines today, so you donโ€™t have to The news, even that about Hannah Neeleman expecting baby number nine, donโ€™t need to be complicated or confusing; thatโ€™s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon. Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some…

Ripping the Headlines Today,ย 3/2/26

Making fun of the headlines today, so you donโ€™t have to The news, even that about Hannah Neeleman expecting baby number nine, donโ€™t need to be complicated or confusing; thatโ€™s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything fromโ€ฆ

02.03.2026 23:07 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 1    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The bill for Iran war will be in the stratosphere, it seems Trumpโ€™s suffering from No Attention To the Deficit Disorder

03.03.2026 03:19 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 21    ๐Ÿ” 4    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The bill for Iran war will be in the stratosphere, it seems Trumpโ€™s suffering from No Attention To the Deficit Disorder

03.03.2026 03:19 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 21    ๐Ÿ” 4    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Why Did I Walk into This Room? - Christy Heitger-Ewing Buy the Book:AmazonBarnes & NobleBraughler Books Published by: Braughler BooksRelease Date: February 2026Pages: 176ISBN13: 979-8-89390-096-5ย  OVERVIEW A book that reads like a conversation with your f...

A big woot, woot for my pal Christy Heitger-Ewing and the birth of her new book into the world. I liked it so much I provided a blurb. And meant every word!

christyheitger-ewing.com/books/why-di...

03.03.2026 02:52 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 4    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Trump has put the US between Iraq and a hard place.

02.03.2026 04:05 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 5    ๐Ÿ” 1    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The SAG awards were tonight which appropriately always come after the Golden Globes.

02.03.2026 03:52 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 7    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The House Oversight Committee went so easy on the Clintonโ€™s Iโ€™m surprised Republicans arenโ€™t calling it the Overlook Committee.

02.03.2026 23:50 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 1    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Yay!

03.03.2026 01:31 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Woohoo I got it.

go.bsky.app/RfH6iA6

03.03.2026 01:08 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 50    ๐Ÿ” 38    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 18    ๐Ÿ“Œ 6
Three people kneeling by a memorial in the snow in front of a brick house, with lines and lines of colorful flowers, as well as signs and candles

Three people kneeling by a memorial in the snow in front of a brick house, with lines and lines of colorful flowers, as well as signs and candles

BREAKING: A โ€œcredible whistleblowerโ€ has revealed FBI forensic experts were ordered to โ€œstand downโ€ from processing the scene of Renee Goodโ€™s murder โ€” because Kash Patel did not want Good โ€œreferenced as a โ€˜victim.โ€™โ€

Source: Senate Judiciary Democrats

02.03.2026 22:19 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1391    ๐Ÿ” 798    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 53    ๐Ÿ“Œ 25

The House Oversight Committee went so easy on the Clintonโ€™s Iโ€™m surprised Republicans arenโ€™t calling it the Overlook Committee.

02.03.2026 23:50 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 1    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Ripping the Headlines Today - Paul Lander, Humor Times Making fun of headlines, like: "Ballerina Farm's Hannah Neeleman pregnant with baby #9" - The woman doesnโ€™t have a uterus, she has Gymboree.

Extra! Extra! Latest Ripping the Headlines Today, 2/2/26 - Paul Lander- @subs.humortimes.com

www.humortimes.com/417667/rippi...

02.03.2026 23:28 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Trump has put the US between Iraq and a hard place.

02.03.2026 04:06 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 7    ๐Ÿ” 3    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
Preview
Cartoon: Winners/Whiner Written by: Paul Lander Artist: Dan McConnell

Thank ya Humor Outcasts, @dtcav.bsky.social by me and @cartoonydan.bsky.social

Cartoon: Winners/Whiner humoroutcasts.com/2026/cartoon...

02.03.2026 19:06 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 12    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Post image Post image

At last, the poll we've all been waiting for: who's more popular--POTUS or bugs?

*Click link in thread for all 8 #PoemsOfTheWeek*

#insects #bugs #cockroaches #spiders #ants #Texas #POTUS #politics @paullander.bsky.social @faithsalie.bsky.social @petersagal.bsky.social @tombodett.bsky.social

02.03.2026 19:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 5    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0