Paul Lander

Ripping the Headlines Today - Paul Lander, Humor Times Making fun of headlines, like: "RFK Jr. wants chains to prove they serve 'safe drinks'" - Jr's still mad they don't sell actual bear claws.

Extra! Extra! Latest Ripping the Headlines Today, 3/9/26 - Paul Lander - @subs.humortimes.com

www.humortimes.com/417908/rippi...

Trump Sends Fawning Birthday Wishes to Rupert Murdoch He’s Suing for $10B. … I’m sure it came surrounded by a drawing he can deny ever sending.

Can we have that painted on a building?

Trump Sends Fawning Birthday Wishes to Rupert Murdoch He’s Suing for $10B. … I’m sure it came surrounded by a drawing he can deny ever sending.

Fox News apologizes for showing old video of a hatless Donald Trump at a dignified transfer ceremony. In fairness he in each he remains heartless.

You Can Now Get Botox at Planned Parenthood. It was impossible to tell if that’s a good or bad thing based on the looks on faces of people who made announcement.

You Can Now Get Botox at Planned Parenthood. It was impossible to tell if that’s a good or bad thing based on the looks on faces of people who made announcement.

Stephen A Smith says he’d vote for Marco Rubio for President. Especially if the Democratic nominee is Stephen A Smith.

Stephen A Smith says he’d vote for Marco Rubio for President. Especially if the Democratic nominee is Stephen A Smith.

Fox News apologizes for showing old video of a hatless Donald Trump at a dignified transfer ceremony. In fairness he in each he remains heartless.

Britain’s aircraft carrier may need French escort. Isn’t that one of things that got Prince Andrew in deep shit?

The covers of three books. Left to right: Gandolfini: Jim, Tony, and the life of a legend, about the late Sopranos actor. The cover shows Gandolfini looking shy, peering offscreen with one unobstructed eye and another that peeks out between the fingers of his right hand. CENTER: The cover of Cinema Her Way, a coffee table book by Marya E. Gates about female directors. On the cover is actress Michelle Rodriguez as the boxer heroine of Karyn Kusama's sports drama Girlfight, about a woman boxer. RIGHT David Hockney's painting collection The Arrival of Spring in Normandy, showing a painting of a verdant field. In the background of the field is green grass. in the upper foreground are the branches of a tree sprouting white, cottony buds.

A screenshot of the pre-orders section at mzs.press. Three screenshots of books that have not yet been released. I Am The Night, Daniel Dockery's book about Batman the Brave and the Bold, has a silhouette of Batman stretching from the top to the bottom of the cover, with the title of the book and a nighttime Gotham skyline circumscribed by the borders of the Batman silhouette. CENTER The cover of The Ring Cycle, Matt Zoller Seitz and Odie Henderson's book on the Rocky and Creed films. The cover is white except for a pair of black boxing gloves floating there RIGHT The cover of Documentary Now!, the 600-page, 7-pound coffee table book celebrating the aforementioned IFC Channel series parodying classic documentaries.

Screenshot of three books carried at mzs.press arts bookstore: LEFT: Cover of Lead Sister, a biography of Karen Carpenter, featuring a closeup of Carpenter playing and singing with The Carpenters. CENTER: The cover of Anthony Hopkins' We Did OK, Kid, a memoir of his life and career. On the cover is Hopkins in closeup as he looks presently, narrowed blue eyes looking directly at the spectator. RIGHT: Cover of Louis Armstrong In His Own Words, a collection of the bandleader's correspondence. The cover image is a photograph of a probably fortysomething Armstrong seated at the wooden desk in his office where he often wrote letters.

Screenshot of the covers of 3 books carried at mzs.press Arts Bookstore. LEFT: The cover of Gotham City Cocktails, a book of mixed drink recipes inspired by Batman. Art deco-style flowing border lines flow around and around the interior of the dust jacket. At the center are drawings of two tall cocktail glasses and between them, a shot glass and a tumbler with a sword-pierced cherry in it. CENTER: The cover of Downton Abbey Afternoon Tea Cookbook. Green cover, white writing and graphics. The central image is a teapot with stem lines coming out of it, and at the pot's base, a teacup and saucer and a separate plate of biscuits. RIGHT: Bob's Burgers "The Re-Recipe Box," a set of recipe cards inspired by the joke hamburger names featured on the small board at the front of Bob's joint. Red sides with small graphics, cover image of the restaurant.

Greetings, new friends! You may know me as an author, a prolific Bluesky poster and 4th place finisher on So You Call That Dancing? But you might not know that my partner Judith (@mzpress) and I have an online arts bookstore that's growing every day. Full inventory here: mzs.press/EVERYTHING-W...

THREAD: I got laid off from NYMag/Vulture after 14 years. The family lost 75% of income + medical. Now mzs.press bookstore, once a side project. is do-or-die for Judith & I. I feel weird telling you this because others are doing much worse. But if you could like or share this, we'd be so grateful!

Thanks back atcha @paullander.bsky.social! AND thanks to our 6 other Poets of the Week, weighing in on Mrs. DJT, #MrClean & more. Click link in thread for all 7.

Britain’s aircraft carrier may need French escort. Isn’t that one of things that got Prince Andrew in deep shit?

Back in Tabloids: Ooops, She Did It Again by Paul Lander Britney, DUI.Sources claim she’ll plead she’s not—Not that innocent.

Thank ya @lightpoetrymag.bsky.social

lightpoetrymagazine.com/poems-of-the...

Standard and Poor's just changed it's name to Standard and Poorer...

Standard and Poor's just changed it's name to Standard and Poorer...

Hey hey

5 Potential Disney Animated Movies to Prepare Kids for the Real World You’ll wish upon a star we had these

medium.com/@paullander/...

Iran apologized to its neighbors for bombing them. Your turn makers of the Melania movie

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a cartoon of garfield saying " i have friday on my mind " next to a calendar ALT: a cartoon of garfield saying " i have friday on my mind " next to a calendar

Good morning and Happy Monday 👋

There were parties all weekend and plenty of friends to meet if you are interested in reviewing the lists.

I help build #NeverTrump accounts, leave a comment or meme and I will help grow your account.

Have an amazing Monday! ❤️☮️

Repost

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1891 Great Blizzard of 1891 begins in England and lasts until March 13; snowdrifts up to 15ft Kills 200 people and 6,000 animals 1926 Bertha Landes elected 1st woman mayor of Seattle and 1st female mayor of any major US city 1933 US Congress is called into special session by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, beginning its "100 days" in which it passes 77 laws 1945 334 US B-29 Superfortresses attack Tokyo with 120,000 fire bombs was the single deadliest air raid of World War II. 1959 Barbie makes her debut at the American Toy Fair in New York. Over a billion have been sold worldwide since. 1974 Last Japanese soldier, a guerrilla operating in the Philippines, surrenders, 29 years after World War Il ended 2020 Italy announces it is locking down the whole country due to a spike in COVID-19 cases with 10,040 cases and 630 deaths

Happy Mario Day🍄
🦊 Meet and Greet 🦊

Hey it’s me MARIO

I bet you can’t get the music out out of your head now 🤣😆

Mario first appeared as a carpenter in Donkey Kong in 1981
Then Mario Brothers was launched in 1983 as and was an Italian plumber
Did you ever win the game?

We Will Be Okay

Love
Foxy

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Good morning #BreakfastCrew Resisters!

Happy Monday!☀️🌤️

Let’s start our week out at this beautiful oasis with an inviting pool for today’s Virtual Meet & Greet! 💦🏊‍♀️🌴

Cocktails, Mocktails, Coffee & Tea available!🍹🥂☕️🫖

Meet some new friends.👫👭👬 Everyone welcomed!

Comment ✍️ & say Hi! 👋
#BlueCrew

Ben Affleck's Friends Are Reportedly 'Deeply Concerned' As He's Back To His Old Bad Habits. Stop him before he makes Gigli 2

Russell Crowe Shows Off 55-Lb Weight Loss.. Or both Olsen twins

Russell Crowe Shows Off 55-Lb Weight Loss.. Or both Olsen twins