Dr. Gabagool and the Salami of Secrets

every once in a while I'll ask Siri something in the car but now outside of the most basic map requests it wants me to pull over and look at a ChatGPT answer when I know that it used to give me spoken answers to the same questions a few years ago

tired: losing the war in Iran
wired: losing the argument at this year's family Thanksgiving

The plan was I would carry my printer about 2miles to her house, print out the needed pages, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there.

any time something I post starts showing up on the Discover feed I get blocked by a bunch of zero-post zero-follower accounts who are apparently just here for the news and don't appreciate me posting jokes when there's a cheeto in the white house

what if we avoid the blowback by throwing the imperial boomerang as hard as possible into our own faces first

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like 80% complimentary

another cast photo of Votager, this time in neutral earth tone sweaters and khakis lounging around a taupe room

computer, adjust parameters of simulation

the cast of Star Trek Voyager in street clothes awkwardly posing with late-90s computer hardware and consumer electronics

this is what it feels like to post on bluesky

the cast of Star Trek Voyager, out of costume, in a pink room and wearing 90s black clothes

my favorite UPN-core cast photo is this one from Star Trek Voyager where they tried to get a little "irreverent yet sexy Fox legal drama" with it

AT&T guy who inexplicably has a desk set up in the middle of the grocery store: HELLO SIR! Quick question! Who do you use for your phone service???

Me: SPECIAL FREDO TECHNIQUE!!! 100 CONSECUTIVE PUNCHES TO THE PEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!

why does Ben Stiller have his own line of artisanal soda

it's not some esoteric bit of historical trivia, is the thing; American white nationalists up to this day openly use that kind of iconography to identify themselves to fellow travelers, and I'd hope anyone on any kind of national politics beat would be able to recognize them too

no you aren't

the average bsky user could give you five minutes off the cuff on all the ways Bluesky PBC is fucking up while the average twitter user would stammer through apologia about how you have to be exposed to opinions and plus the brands are there

climb down off that cross, Ryan baby

A store named The Fun-Ghoul in Rutherford, New Jersey, which sounds like "vaffancul'" (shove it up your ass) in Italian

hey, fuck you too, store

a lot of them also seem to have a uniquely bad understanding of odds and probability, they see things like "0.3% of measles cases die" but they can only understand chances as "it's sure to happen" and "it'll never happen"

they think measles is just a fun childhood rite of passage where you get weird skin blotches for a week and not a disease that can burn out your ear nerves or make your brain explode out of your skull so they're not too fussed over the outbreak

and the advisors and pundits pushing hardest to drop the "weird" messaging turned out to all generally agree with Republicans, just not their aesthetics

they hated "weird" because they felt attacked by it too

it's also something the KSA wants too; they've got designs on being a regional power but their reach is limited because they're hemmed in on pretty much all sides, so taking Iran off the board lets them project further out

A store named The Fun-Ghoul in Rutherford, New Jersey, which sounds like "vaffancul'" (shove it up your ass) in Italian

hey, fuck you too, store

sometimes you just need two tubas

oh not a complaint, just a statement of fact

I currently have two tubas in my car

hegseth and rubio aren't particularly implicated by it, so they don't have any reason to be distracting from anything, they just want to do strongman things to look tough on the world stage

whenever I am sick I am always reminded of how many vile fluids I contain

from the way I've heard conservatives use it, they seem to think Iran was renamed from "Persia" after the revolution

if linux is so great then why haven't they released ubunthree yet