3 years ago, my doctor told me I may never walk again. He said I'm a natural athlete, I could just run everywhere and never get tired
He was looking at my x-rays like 'woah no way, so cool'.
He called me the white Eliud Kipchoge
I like walking though, it's nice
27.03.2025 11:50 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
I don't understand clapping when the plane lands. Landing isn't even that impressive, flying is the real achievement. So I clap the whole time the plane is in the air
19.02.2025 08:47 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, don't even look at the bell. That is MY bell!!
29.01.2025 09:32 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The pen is nowhere near mightier than the sword. Have you seen swords? What are you on about
03.01.2025 23:23 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I'd love to do one of those 'The Holiday' type things, where you have sex with Jude Law in a stranger's house
22.12.2024 16:11 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
There's a lot of loud fox sex happening in my garden. They keep trying to get away, but I just love them so much!!
17.12.2024 16:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
They say I'm addicted to pausing mid-step, but I can stop any time I want
20.11.2024 22:38 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I want to start a vehicle leasing company called Texpectit
Our slogan: "Amazing things can happen when you lease Texpectit"
19.11.2024 00:50 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
