🎄Holly Jolly Bi Goblin🎄

They’d never fuck YOU 🙂‍↔️

a woman in a red shirt is making a funny face and saying `` sure , jan '' . Alt: a woman in a red shirt is making a funny face and saying `` sure , jan '' .

Them: “I’d never fuck a fat girl”

Me:

Don’t tell ME to be of good cheer. Bitch.

Let me know what you think!!

Chronicle Books publication of Celtic Tales

Honestly I’m not sure lol this is the cover

I’m reading a collection of Celtic short stories. It kind of has a foot in some of those?

Me?! Oh boy! What genre are you looking for?

Gas stations where you have to pay the clerk inside >>>

Label on a shelf in a Metro Supermarket (Philippines) offering "Christmas bag of threats" for 250 pesos

Not many left on the shelves this year

A sign at the goodwill cash register that prompts the cashier to ask the person to Donate the “remaindeer” of their change

🎶 They never let poor Rudolph
Donate any remaindeer change 🎶

I will over analyze a person for days before I consider that they might just be really stupid 🤪

I mean, it’s hard to compete with truffle salt

Bigoblin’s tree but with white lights

You can really see all the red with the white lights 😍

Also like… babies are not rocket science. You feed them, you change them, you burp them… what else is there to know

Wow. Can’t believe you’re flaunting your wealth like this in this economy… smdh 🙂‍↔️

This, and no other reason whatsoever, is why I don’t have more viral posts 😉

Oh I looooove when my posts go viral and the comments section becomes a litany of people who don’t understand jokes

It’s Jarl, I guess you know me after all!!

😂

I got coffee with this therapist and told her my only polyamory knowledge was the Ethical Slut and she was like, “I think that’s a bit outdated.”

And I was like “Well TECHNICALLY the free PDF *I* read was updated in the early 2000’s”

So yeah, I showed her! 🤣

TEA!!!

Therapist: I think we’re having a break-through.

Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah

Astrology seems to indicate it could happen early next week but I’m not getting my hopes too high

Mark Ruffalo saying men can wear pink sweaters agreeing with George Takei

My favorite celebrity on Bluesky is Mark Ruffalo because he’s not doing celebrity stuff he’s just replying to George Takei like everyone else who watches MSNBC. He’s just here to read about the news.

My kid has gotten me into a psychedelic Wiggles album that features songs called

“Bush Doof” and
“Ricka Puty and a Van Dan Dougaly”

it’s just undeniable that trump wants everyone to live in a hell where you can’t tell whats real

judy blume's are you there goddamnit, don't leave me on read motherfucker

Who needs sleep when you can just keep looking at your phone for hours

Idk 😭 also something about making your throat go out???

I burped just from reading about burping. Is it like sneezing in that way???

It’s hard to explain how to make yourself do it… it’s like blowing a bubble from your diaphragm