Kim Jong Un Can’t Believe Daughter Already Executing Boys

Kim Jong Un Can’t Believe Daughter Already Executing Boys https://theonion.com/kim-jong-un-cant-believe-daughter-already-executing-boys/

FIFA will handle it by kicking Iran out and enjoying those sweet US dollars.

Victor Wembanyama took five shots tonight and was plus-41.

Devastating blow to so many in sports media who have been busy carrying water for WNBPA throughout this process.

THERAPIST: and this one?

ME: that looks like you kissing my mum.

THERAPIST: what about this one?

ME: also kissing my mum. and groping her a little. why are you showing me these?

THERAPIST: I thought you'd be happy for us.

thinking about this again jonathanlarsen.substack.com/p/us-troops-... (from @jonathanlarsen.bsky.social)

That statue, which was cast back in 1961, was modeled on 1950s Texas Rangers – as in the law enforcement Texas Rangers – Captain Jay Banks. Since it's unveiling 65 years ago it has spent most of its life at Love Field in Dallas. But then in 2020 it was removed and placed in storage. Why? Because Captain Jay Banks was a racist cop who made it his mission to stop schools from integrating. This is an excerpt from the 2020 book, Cult of Glory: The Bold and Brutal History of the Texas Rangers by Doug Swanson, which describes' Banks' role in efforts to keep schools in Texas racially segregated in defiance of the United States Supreme Court's 1954 decision, Brown v. Board of Education: Then there is the form and face of the statue itself. This dates to 1956, when the NAACP, backed with a court order, attempted to integrate the high school in Mansfield, about 30 miles southwest of Dallas. White residents erupted in fury, so Gov. Allan Shivers dispatched the Rangers. But unlike state police in other Southern racial hotspots, the Rangers in Mansfield did not escort black students past howling mobs of white supremacists. They had been sent instead to keep the black children out of a white school.

The commanding Ranger on the scene was Sgt. E.J. “Jay” Banks. A wire service photo showed him casually leaning against a tree outside Mansfield High. To his left, above the school’s entrance, was a dummy in blackface, hanging from a noose. Nearby a white mob had assembled. Some carried signs that threatened death for anyone attempting to integrate the school. Banks saw no need to remove the effigy or disperse the mob. “They were just ‘salt of the earth’ citizens,” he later wrote. “They were concerned because they were convinced that someone was trying to interfere with their way of life.” Blacks were so intimidated that none attempted to enroll at Mansfield. Several days later, Gov. Shivers ordered Banks and a few other Rangers to Northeast Texas, because African-Americans wished to take classes at all-white Texarkana Junior College, a public institution. Again the Rangers’ job was to stop black students from enrolling. As at Mansfield, a mob of white men gathered outside the school. An 18-year-old woman and a 17-year-old boy, both black, arrived by cab and began to walk toward the college. The mob blocked their path. Some surrounded the 17-year-old and kicked him, while others threw gravel. The Rangers watched it happen and did nothing except threaten to arrest the two students. That wire service photo of Banks in front of the school with the Black person hung in effigy can be seen at the top of today's newsletter.

The statue was removed from public view in 2020 in the wake of that book about the Rangers being published. This occurred at the same time that statues of Confederates, Klansmen, racists, and segregationists were removed all over the country following the murder of George Floyd. But now the Texas Rangers Baseball Club, knowing full well the history of the statue, its subject, and its removal, and knowing that multiple municipal institutions decided it was inappropriate for public display, is happy to put that statue up in a public concourse at a major league baseball stadium. When I learned of this yesterday afternoon I contacted Major League Baseball and asked the following questions: Is Major League Baseball aware of the history of the "One Riot, One Ranger" statue and its subject, Jay Banks? Is Major League Baseball aware that Love Field and the City of Dallas removed the statue and put it in storage in 2020 after Banks' involvement in attempting to keep schools segregated in the 1950s came to light? Does Major League Baseball condone one of its Clubs erecting a previously-removed statue of a staunch segregationist at its ballpark?; and Does Major League Baseball have any comment regarding the discomfort that will be felt by Black fans when confronted with the statue of a segregationist at Globe Life Field? I did not receive a response. I'm going to assume that the league's silence on this means that it wholly condones the Rangers putting up the "One Riot, One Ranger" statue despite its sordid and extraordinarily well-reported history.

Yesterday the Texas Rangers erected a statue of a segregationist cop at Globe Life Field. A statue that was removed from public property in 2020 because of its racist history. @mlb.com has refused to comment. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

Trump Wins $60 On Kalshi Betting He’ll Bomb Iran WASHINGTON—Saying he just had a “gut feeling” about the U.S.-backed airstrike, President Trump announced Monday that he’d won $60 on Kalshi after betting that he would bomb Iran. “The odds were agains...

“The odds were against me, but somehow I just knew that betting on an airstrike ordered by the president of the United States would hit,” said President Donald Trump

Trump On Fence About Attending Ayatollah’s Funeral

Trump On Fence About Attending Ayatollah’s Funeral https://theonion.com/trump-on-fence-about-attending-ayatollahs-funeral/

God Admits He No Longer Loves Humanity But Is Too Afraid To Leave THE HEAVENS—Admitting He felt torn between His true feelings and His fear of the unknown, the Lord God Almighty announced Monday that He no longer loved humanity but was too afraid to leave. “Any affe...

God Admits He No Longer Loves Humanity But Is Too Afraid To Leave

Kash Patel’s Girlfriend Seeks Fame and Fortune, Escorted by an F.B.I. SWAT Team

It is hilarious that Kash has a government employee whose primary job is to tweet about how people should stop asking about Kash's use of taxpayer-funded services for personal projects www.nytimes.com/2026/02/28/u...

There is no reason to believe the 2026 elections will be legitimate, or the 2028 elections will even happen.

U.S. Still Enjoying Small But Loyal Following WASHINGTON—While the nation’s mainstream popularity has largely diminished in recent years, sources confirmed this week that the United States still retains a passionate fan base composed of a few ext...

U.S. Still Enjoying Small But Loyal Following

Chuck Schumer: ‘The American People Deserve A President Who Can More Credibly Justify War With Iran’ WASHINGTON—In a pointed critique of President Trump’s foreign policy leadership, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer stated to members of the press Thursday that “the American people deserve a presid...

From The Archives:

#youdontsay

Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started

Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started

Epstein Files Reveal Deepak Chopra Still Lost On Little St. James WASHINGTON—Amid shocking materials that include a photo in which the word ‘HELP’ has been spelled out with rocks, seaweed, and several stuffed animals, a newly released tranche of Epstein files reveal...

“From what we can gather, Chopra has been deliriously wandering the now largely uninhabited Epstein Island for years, crying out for food and forbidden eros,” said independent analyst Gina Mosley

Good to see Rory’s check cleared.

‘I’d Like The Crispy Chicken Sandwich’ First Truthful Thing Man Has Said In Weeks

‘I’d Like The Crispy Chicken Sandwich’ First Truthful Thing Man Has Said In Weeks https://theonion.com/i-d-like-the-crispy-chicken-sandwich-first-truthful-t-1819579685/

Definitely need dumber generals.

Oh yeah, sure. Totally believable.

(whispers ...)

(.. prime Clint Capela was way tf better than Ayton )

Americans Are Leaving the U.S. in Record Numbers More citizens are replanting overseas, drawn by a quality of life made easily affordable by the U.S.’s enviable salaries.

This is such a well done piece that reports out, with hard data and interviews, something profound about what's gone wrong in this country.

www.wsj.com/us-news/amer...

I have requested a free trip to Hawaii. Anyone can ask for anything…

$31,000 deductibles you say?

So it would be MUCH cheaper to not buy any insurance at all. Brilliant!

Definitely not as good as Clint Capela.

Uncovered Georgia O’Keeffe Letters Confirm Paintings Were Veiled Depictions Of Basset Hounds

Uncovered Georgia O’Keeffe Letters Confirm Paintings Were Veiled Depictions Of Basset Hounds https://theonion.com/uncovered-georgia-okeeffe-letters-confirm-paintings-were-veiled-depictions-of-basset-hounds/

Why stay?

I hate how Florida being the closest state to Cuba means "98% probablity of government goons with bad idea / 2% probability crypto bros from Miami being idiots"

Local Dad Really Banking On Sports To Instill Core Values In Children

Local Dad Really Banking On Sports To Instill Core Values In Children https://theonion.com/local-dad-really-banking-on-sports-to-instill-core-values-in-children/