Casters love going "the veil is thin..." like they're saying something profound and mysterious. Like no shit, genius, it's called "the veil". If it were thick, it'd be called something different, like ''the wall" or "your mom".

If you beat Resident Evil 4 in exactly two hours and sixty-nine seconds using only the Blue9 (which can be found by tracking down Eric, one of the programmers, and giving him a cupcake), you unlock the Maximum Overtime ending, which is five minutes of painstakingly animated SFM pornography.

For every beloved children's mascot whose Twitter account gets hacked, maybe the silver lining is at least one more parent that realizes that the cold and lawless expanse of the Internet isn't a good place for little Aydynn and little Yukaleighleigh to roam unsupervised.

Fun fact! Did you know?
Psychiatrists are colloquially called "shrinks" because this used to be short for "headshrinker", and psychiatrists were called this because it was believed that all mental problems resulted from enabling Big Head Mode.

Imagine my disappointment to learn that it's "Texarkana" and it's a place, and it's not "tex arcana" and refers to a wizard putting on his robe and cowboy hat and going riding into town with the Bigby's Iron on his hip

I've forgiven you guys for that time I left my chocolate milk unattended and I came back and it was spilled, because I've been listening to some podcasts and I'm now pretty sure Bigfoot did it.

Junji Ito seems like such a happy-go-lucky guy that I like to imagine him sprawled on his bed reading Yotsubato and eating bonbons and kicking his legs behind him before going off to draw the next chapter of Man Turns Into A Giant Pustule Over The Course Of Several Days.

This is a comic based on an old saying that goes "when you work at the piss factory, there'll be a machine that pelts you with lemons the whole time"

I have completed my cybersecurity training. Women want me, phish phear me.

I wandered through the shops in France,
and happened on, by happenstance:
a tool I found most magnifique,
its blade was sharp, its handle sleek.
A knife disguised as tasty bread,
it's novel form won't leave my head.
I've never found a knife that's nicer,
baguette blade,
the French bread slicer.

American parents in the 70s and 80s: "my child is disobedient."

Troubled Teen Industry: "50 grand and I'll give them PTSD"

Parents: "fuckin sold"

Please understand, GTA6 is delayed because the lead programmer (Shadow the Hedgehog) needs to ensure there are more polygons in that one latina than in every other video game combined.

OC

Idaho Department of Commerce, please hire me to run your tourism section for an exorbitant salary, and you can have the slogan "Idaho, Udaho, Wealldaho for Idaho" free of charge.

You clearly need the help, because you have a Fake Png forest and I HAD TO FIND THAT OUT BY ACCIDENT

As I and 99 of my fellow men approach Godzilla, I get the sneaking suspicion that we might have misheard.

When you try to use Reddit with a VPN, you sometimes get an image of Reddit so perfectly and precisely insulting of the site and its stereotypical user that you'd swear it was made by someone who doesn't like it.

OC

NVM WE'RE SO BACK

It seems like my pages are gone.

This is the new one.
www.facebook.com/share/1CTbpo...
I hope this is temporary, but I'm not sure. Likes and shares are very appreciated while I rebuild.

Totally prank your friends by putting Meridia's Beacon in their pockets when they're not looking!

In only nine years, so much is forgotten. Did he not die for our sins? Do not fight the gorilla, live in peace with the gorilla. It's what he would have wanted.

HammerTheBiscuits - Twitch uhhhhhhhhhh borgar

Oblivion stream 2 (post-kvatch) is live!

Twitch.tv/hammerthebiscuits

I'm crowdfunding an initiative that'll have dozens of passionate volunteers going around to every store that sells the life-sized Vaporeon plush and fitting tags to the ears that just say "don't"

Confucius say: "it is better for a man to stand by his own words than to attribute them to an authority figure in an attempt to legitimize them."

Confucius also say: "Bros, I have a cocktail of mental maladies that only an aggressive handy behind a 7/11 by a goth with big stompy boots could fix."

They test bathroom stalls by having someone stand inside one with his pants down, and if a casual passerby can't later write down the exact measurements of his penis, they remake the stall with a wider gap until it passes.

Oblivion Remake stream 1 in two hours!

Twitch.tv/hammerthebiscuits

People love to talk shit about adulthood like it's this miserable thing full of heartbreak, disappointment, and misery.

Dude, I'm eating a cheeseburger in the bath right now and no one gives a fuck. I could not have done that as a kid.

I've been in contact with RFK Jr's brain worm and convinced it to get him to watch the entire Chris-chan documentary on YouTube. Stand by for the "Sonic the Hedgehog causes autism" rhetoric, it'll be funny.

Oblivion Remasterbate stream begins at 7 EST Saturday!

Twitch.tv/hammerthebiscuits