Mister J is rambling again...

oolong tea 🍂

I am exhausted

I can't find positivity to share anymore

stupid to think i deserved any comfort

the day i leave this world everyone will stop complaining about my every move

just grab my hand and tell me what to do
i have no energy to fight back no more

i tried
i will no longer try anymore
it will be what it be for now on

its already morning i couldnt sleep a blink

most draining night of my life

for years
damn

today was nice
so was yesterday night
i guess things can get better

new friends getting to know me (sorry)

i need help i dont know how to ask for it

i wish you didnt judge just by the looks

trying to find positivity and trying to be the caretaker for my friends drains me but i continue
i dont know what else i should be

i just want to be alone

i need help

i think i need help

thanks i won't eat anymore

i don't recognize myself
i just know who i am depending on who i am talking to
i am nothing

even worse when the person makes sure you see the consequences of that no

when i say no to something i feel like the most disgusting human being

bluesky
add a private account option
and my life
is yours

im starting to believe my own lies and delusions
yeah sure lets do that thing i completely am comfortable to do so because if i dont you will make me feel guilty and show every single day i ruined your life
yes lets do that

i regret venting to people!!!

I'm about to lose it and it's not my wallet this time

Why keep trying if I know it will be the same again

I'm sorry for venting. I know it's probably a lot to read, but everything feels too overwhelming to keep in. Too much.
Thank you if you're still here. Thank you for reading.

I feel nothing but shame, shame for my illness, shame for myself, and shame for even wanting help, no matter what kind of help it is.
So many people need it more than I do. I don't deserve it.