Mooyeens

So… anyone else cry upon learning their diagnosis of ADHD, or was it just me?

I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them

I hate that one of my coworkers has decided to make only half pots of coffee in the mornings for the office. Like…. Why? What is the point of a half pot for multiple coffee drinkers?

That in itself says a lot about our society: women are fantasizing about having choices that should already be the norm across the board.

After reading several romantasy/romance novels, I’ve noticed a recurring theme: choice. Women are ultimately given the ability to choose, especially regarding their bodies, sex, children, etc.

While they don’t always start that way, they often lead there.

I sometimes enjoy when I misread something at a glance.

Did my brain see ‘Unlock your potential?’

Oh, nay nay.

Unlock your poltergeist. 👻

Entertaining. Creepy. Mildly useful.

Hey, Harold, I forgot to close the kitchen cabinet, can you get that?

Harold the ghost: *slam*

Thanks, man.

I look at one advert about a scifi story with robots and now all my ads are robot themed books. There are worse things, I suppose.

Been seeing ads for stories with weird themes like “I’ll allow him to betray me 99 times,” and I’m just like…

Why? Who has this weird desire to be betrayed/hurt/pissed off 99 times before calling it quits? And to keep track of the misdeeds?

The concept is just ridiculous.

Saw my Obgyn for the first time in 3 years (because I finally got a notice that it was time for an appointment) and he asked how my hot flashes were.

“I get them every once in a while but not often.”

“Ok, good.”

Um… ok?

We had “Sleepy Joe,” and now we have “Dozy Don.”

I hope whoever our next president is has a name that starts with an S… or an N.

Snoozy Sam.

Napping Nelly.

We have a theme, and, at this point, we should just run with it (but with alliteration, because it’s catchier).

Me to Siri: Play music from Radiohead
Siri: Playing music from Stray Kids and more on Amazon Music.

Me: 🤷🏽‍♀️

Clicked on an advert for a book to read the synopsis, and it starts off mentioning that the MMC has waited for 4,000 years for his fated mate.

Anyway. It makes me wonder just how many centuries and/or millennia must one livebefore they start to go mad?

Anyway. I’d be totally on board with religion, especially Catholicism, if it was all about cats. 🐈 🐈‍⬛

Mom’s back on a religious kick, and tonight she called about picking out an image of Jesus for whatever reason, but was having difficulty forwarding the image via text.

Me: That’s ok. I don’t need to see it. I know what Jesus looks like.

Mom: …

My focus this afternoon has been terrible.

Me: I need to look something up!
Me: *opens browser*
Me: *stares at browser for far too long*
Me: Wait… what was I going to do?

Next time I write a letter that will be snail mailed to an employee, I will write it in Comic Sans with shouty caps, justified, 2 spaces after each period, with a greeting of “yo” and close with “kthxbai”

How’s that for “professional?” 🙄

This evening while at Menards, I came across drills and briefly thought about asking where the analog screwdrivers were located before remembering they’re just called “screwdrivers.” 🤦🏽‍♀️

I feel like a fair number of books would actually be a short story if people bothered to communicate.

a cartoon horse says no sir i dont like it Alt: a cartoon horse says no sir i dont like it

Losing my sense of taste and smell means I am noticing textures more when eating and I dislike this development greatly.

I keep getting adverts that highlight quotes from a book, and half the time I have no idea why that line(s) was chosen. Like, was this really the peak of the author’s brilliance, or did the intern just close their eyes, point and then call it good [enough]?

I accepted a slice of cranberry bread from the stranger next to me. Was it smart? Probably not. But was it delicious? Most definitely.

The crows at work have been very vocal today.

For context, I watched an interview of someone from Poland about their relative learning English 6 months through a local org & is now attending college. The person filming commented that the person being interviewed spoke very good English, & she was like “I’ve lived here for 31 years.” 🤷🏽‍♀️

I don’t know why it bothers me when I hear a person tell someone that their “English is very good,” when their English is not the topic of discussion.

Anyone else bothered by this?

Amongst friends this evening, I am probably the only one excited about seeing fireflies/lightning bugs outside. Whatever. I’m gonna lay here and enjoy for a bit before I fall asleep, because I don’t see them as often as I used to.

If I were from Oklahoma and I owned a schooner, I would name it “Boomer.”

Fuckin’ RFEs, man.

I’m gonna have to get some meta glasses or something for my commutes to/from work.

I saw a couple adult geese walking down a winding boardwalk with their adolescent geese (are they still considered goslings at that point?) & it was adorbz. But I was driving & couldn’t stop to take a pic. 😩

The secret ingredient in Doritos Flamin’ Hot Korean Style BBQ chips is disappointment.

It was referencing someone being an asshole driver, but I think it totally applies to lifted trucks with oversized tires and testicles hanging from the hitch.