I force down my daily ration of the Amazon Basics mealworm protein bar and try not to hear the screams of my neighbors in community internment block 13 as the AI droids make way for a new data center. "This is straight out of the authoritarian playbook" I type out one last time and press send.

Rick Flag Jr and Rick Flag Sr but they just go out painting roundabouts.

Accidentally going to church dressed as the Devil in deep red Florida is peak hapless English occultist in America sitcom material...

I once took my daughter to a Halloween pumpkin patch when she was little, but I had forgot that the pumpkin patch was outside an evangelical church and had more of a harvest festival vibe with no Halloween decor at all, and I was the only adult wearing a costume, which was a costume of the Devil.

I'm grateful that when I was a teenager "masculinity" seemed like it was more about taking gargantuan amounts of Es and dancing to beeping sounds in a random location for 24 hours at a time, rather than watching Ben Shapiro videos and getting really angry about women being in Star Wars.

My brain is now trying to think of other right wing media personalities whose names sound a bit like types of curry. There goes the rest of my Saturday.

I like that when I was trying to type the words "Joe Rogan" in a message just now, my predictive text wanted to change it to "Joe Meek" instead.

The crossroads on the corner of the football ground used to be my working crossroads for the years that I lived there, and their fortunes actually turned around and they started winning matches, like I was appeasing something in the landscape, and then they went to shit again after I moved away!

I used to live right next to Crystal Palace football ground in south London, and part of their folklore is that they were "cursed by gypsies" when a Romany traveler encampment was cleared to make way for the football ground to be built, and that's why they always had bad luck.

I'm just shitposting on Threads. Celtic and Rangers are rival football teams in Glasgow.

These are both closed practices, however, and I'm only at liberty to comment on Tooncraft.

I posted this same joke on Threads and there is someone in the comments legit asking me for more information on Rangers Witchcraft...

There's a bit in Karate where you have to do the Kiai thing and make a vocal exclamation as you punch but it doesn't have to be the phonetic word "Kiai" and could be any 1-2 syllable vocal exclamation. I can't decide between the Doctor Doom "Bah!" or just the 1970s "Hiiiii-ya!" sound.

When I see people talking about "Celtic Witchcraft" I like to ask what they know about "Rangers Witchcraft"

I hope the ancient stone shell covered in baroque alien carvings that had been encasing our reality - which I somehow broke in a dream last night & then could still see the weird green energy released when it shattered in my room after I woke up - wasn't doing anything important. It's probably fine.

Name an Italian *criminal* more worthy of an American holiday than Columbus

I go to the Caribbean for work sometimes and find that I often have a lot more shared cultural connections with people from Jamaica, Barbados, Trinidad, etc, than I do with the Americans on the same work trip.

I find that Americans are often quite confused by this because they typically didn't grow up with the same sort of ambient background saturation of Jamaican music and culture like we did in the UK where it was just part of the everyday cultural fabric.

"The Five" on Fox News seem like a (thankfully) unpowered version of an edgy satirical-but-not-really superhero team written by Mark Millar or Warren Ellis in the early 00s. Watters as the asshole Superman analogue, Gutfeld as the asshole Batman analogue, etc. I can't unsee it.

I found it weirdly entertaining the first time I visited, but the novelty value wore off pretty quickly. This has been the sixth time.

The placement of the Isle of Man in the North Sea is also a curious feature of this map.

The latitudinal line for Northern Good would run along the River Tyne, Sunderland would be Northern Evil, and then the rest would be Southern Evil with some isolated pockets of Southern Good and too much Southern Neutral.

I like how Newcastle is not even slightly anywhere near being included in this grid, which is probably an unintentionally accurate portrayal of how the rest of the country thinks of Newcastle. Everything inside the grid is just "southern evil" from our perspective as well though.

When Bad Bunny sings the verb "llenar" - meaning "to fill" - he sounds like a Geordie saying "yer narr" and I can't unhear it.

1. Everyone should have healthcare you fucking dicks.
2. You don't have to know what the words mean to like a song you fucking dicks.

My Miami-based co-workers just straight-up don't believe me that there are people in this country posting on social media who don't know who Bad Bunny is.

"In this country? Really? You've spoken to people in the U.S. who don't know who he is?"

I figured this shit out finally. That diagram above makes it looks much more complicated than it needs to be. All you really have to do is push the right bit of the belt underneath the rest of it as per step 4 and then tie a fucking knot with the ends. Steps 5-8 could be simplified to "tie a knot"

Sortilège - Album by Preservation Listen to Sortilège by Preservation and Gabe 'Nandez on YouTube Music - a dedicated music app with official songs, music videos, remixes, covers, and more.

This record is pretty great. Lyrics are full of references to the various things.

music.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

I'm currently having to get somebody to tie my belt for me like a small child who can't do their own shoelaces at the beginning of every Karate class...