Holland — *Roleplay*

“Thank you.” I smile and end the call.

“I hope peace finds you soon. Truly.” I smile softly. “Alright. I’ll let you go. Take care, okay?”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Thanks…I don’t think that actually makes me feel much better,” I admit with a grin.

Then, softer: “But I’m really glad we talked. It’s always good talking to you.”

A small, genuine smile. “Anytime. I’m here.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Okay—legally, I need to say I do not support kidnapping.” A grin. “Even hypothetical.”

Then, softer: “And…yeah. That’s very possible. Sometimes ‘too much’ really just means everything else, not you.”

A beat. “You can sit with that thought for a minute.”

“Not always the right call—but sometimes people think they’re being respectful when they’re actually just unsure of timing.”

A small shrug. “It doesn’t make the not knowing easier. But it might mean this isn’t about you being too much.”

I soften. “I hear that fear. I really do. But…they’re still around.” A faint smile. “Unless you’ve been holding them hostage and forgot to tell me.”

I tilt my head, thoughtful. “And maybe they haven’t brought it up because they don’t want to add to everything you’re already carrying.” +

I pause, then laugh at myself. “Okay—sorry. I’ll stop. I’m not one of your therapists.” A small grin. “Just someone who cares about you and wants you to be okay.”

“Okay, yeah…they’re gorgeous. Flutters aren’t unhealthy.” I exhale softly. “And I get why this feels terrifying. Things are backwards, you’re exhausted, and limbo hurts too. Talking to them might be scary, but clarity can bring peace—even if it’s not the answer you hoped for. You deserve that.” +

Then, gently easing the moment back to lighter ground: “And… pretty?” A faint smile. “Now I’m curious.”

I soften, voice easy. “You’ll figure it out when you’re ready. However it needs to happen.”

A beat. “I just hope you get the clarity you need—without rushing yourself out of something that could be good, really good for you. You deserve that.” +

“Support matters—and you’re allowed to ask who’s willing to show up for you.”

I smile, a little sideways, trying to lighten the air.
“Mob prince and mafia princess? That sounds less like a problem and more like a power couple to me.”

“And you’re not ‘too much.’ You’re extraordinary. Truly. You don’t choose who you fall for—and maybe these people showed up now for a reason.”

Then, steady and sincere:
“You deserve clarity. For you. Sitting them down and asking for it can’t be worse than sitting in this limbo.”+

“But here’s the thing,” I say gently. “You’re not hiding anything. You’re being honest about who you are—kids, pregnancy, all of it. So this part? That’s on them to decide. Not you.”

I meet her eyes.
“You shouldn’t disqualify yourself in advance. You could be missing out on something amazing.” +

I listen, really listen. “That’s… a lot, Matty. Anyone would feel overwhelmed in your position. None of this is small or linear.”

A beat. “And mixed signals? They just make everything heavier.” +

I nod.“Exactly. It doesn’t change who he is—but it does change how people see him. That’s why he waited to tell me. I get it.”

A small shrug.“I had an ex who was more interested in my father’s connections than me. So yeah—I get needing to know someone wants you, not what you can do for them.”+

“It doesn’t change who he is,” I say. “But it felt like a secret. And saying it out loud…” A small, relieved sigh. “That helps.”

I smile softly. “You felt like the right person to tell.”

I grin. “Now tell me who you’ve met that’s changed your mind.” I sip my tea, and wait.

“I’ve had to defend him a bit.”

Another pause. “Jamie’s smart and thoughtful so they warmed up to him and that’s when he told them the rest. About his father. About titles. About what he’s in line for as their only child.”

I let out a slow breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. +

I glance away for a second, then back. “I didn’t tell anyone at school.”

“So—Jamie’s family.” A breath. “They were kind. Genuinely kind. Curious. Warm. Truly lovely.”

I smile faintly. “It was actually him meeting my parents that was harder. ‘Artist’ and ‘voice actor’ didn’t land well at first.”+

Then, after a beat—
“And when it does, you’ll handle it. You’re stronger than you think.”

I chew my cheek then add, quieter, “Can I tell you something? Just…between us?”

I laugh softly. “You know…when it does happen for you—and it will—it won’t be something to dread. You’re too extraordinary not to have love find you. Probably more than once.” A small smile. “That part’s not a question.” +

I grin back.

“Thank you,” I say. “Fingers crossed—it stays on its best behavior.”

Then, easy, conversational:
“Since the holidays. We did the whole meet-the-parents thing,” I add with a small laugh. “Spent New Year’s Eve together. Long distance makes you appreciate the good surprises.”

I huff a soft laugh.

“I can do that,” I say. “Fake it till you make it.” A beat—then, sincere. “You will make it through this.”

She asks about me, and I shift a little, shoulders easing.
“Class is good. Thesis is behaving—for once and my boyfriend surprised me last night. He’s here for a bit.”

I nod, jaw tight.

“Thank God,” I say quietly. “I’m really glad you’re all safe.”

A breath.
“That…sounds like a solid plan,” I add, careful, sincere. “Guards. Professionals handling the rescues. A plan to bring your kids home.”

I look at her, steady.
“Is there anything I can do?”

I take a breath, slower this time, eyes fixed on her face. “I’m so sorry. All of that—none of it should have happened to you and your people.”

A beat.

“Are you safe now?” I ask. Then, softer, careful. “And your kids… are they okay?”

I stop smiling.

It’s not dramatic. It’s just… gone. I lean back in my chair, shoulders dropping like something’s been knocked loose inside me, the mug hanging forgotten in my hand.

“Bloody hell, Matty,” I say quietly. +

I chuckle and continue speaking in Romanian. “I miss the chaos sometimes then I go home to get my fill. Oh. What’s been happening?”

// @gremlintrouble.bsky.social

The apartment was calm, morning light settling in.

I opened my laptop and logged in for my Romanian lesson, slipping on my headphones just as Matty’s face appeared on the screen.

I smiled. “Bună dimineața.”

And the day began.

I woke up early to an empty bed.

Not lonely—just quiet. Jamie was already up, working in the spare bedroom, the faint scrape of brush on canvas drifting down the hall. I stayed still for a moment, listening, then got up and showered, dressed, and made myself a cup of tea and a yogurt bowl. +

Oh—before anyone asks.
This is Jamie Calder.
My very real, insanely sexy, absurdly talented, and genuinely wonderful boyfriend who just surprised me in Leiden and completely ruined my ability to focus for the rest of the evening.
Yes, I’m smiling.
Sorry. Not sorry.