isaias

rewatching atypical to feel something

having a personality disorder is so exhausting . i wish i was normal and had normal reactions to things .

hello 💛

Ethel Cain:

then i saw the “i saw the tv glow and …” tik tok trend and half of them were so dumb other than the trans ones like u are not the target audience u cishets go away

had the worse impending doom last night about not living the way i want to and i was googling it why did the trailer of i saw the tv glow come up… like i havent even seen it because i know it’ll rip thru my soul

and by “cure me” i mean in terms of the mental illnesses i have that make me insufferable

what also sucks is being hfway into my 20s and not living my own life the way i want it to be. i want to be on hormones, i want to transition. sure it wont cure me, but ill be a lot happier. im just insanely scared. no one treats me right in my house. i dont want to be vulnerable with them. at all.

i want to look like a man that looks like a girl but not a girl that looks like a girl like does anyone else understand

being a trans man but wanting to embrace femininity is hard when people think being feminine = woman. also hard when not on HRT.
too dysphoric to try to embrace my feminine side and it sucks because i dont want to reject it either.

deleted intro post i must remain mysterious

i feel this sensation in from the back of my skull to my feet as if the earth is pulling me towards its center, i drag my body up and outward to avoid it. i am so tired of constantly being strained. but idk whats pulling me back. nothing has changed.

i need to change my life in some way usually i feel stuck for weeks to a few months but its been like almost a year and i feel stuck in life. i feel like im in a jail within my own body and i cant tell why. or the reasoning behind it

Forgetting your headphones at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

who else could never love anotha

👁️

hello gvfsky

u get me

i dont have experience in that but its not hard to have empathy for people that do, yknow? like its so odd seeing people only have empathy for things theyve personally gone thru and nothing else. like does it have to take u going thru it to understand?

i know her very well to know shes being very nonchalant abt it and idk if im describing the situation well but i pulled her aside yesterday and told her it wasnt as funny as she thought it was and she just did not care

cw // miscarriage

brothers gf is making a running joke thats shes pregnant and theres someone in our house that has had several miscarriages and cannot conceive and theyre putting her on the joke and like.. am i overreacting thinking that its insensitive. bc she wont deny shes not pregnant but

do you mind.

why i lowkey start writing a fanfic abt myself anyways yes zoom to read my bad i said i was bad at this . Whatever.

currently downloading picsart to attempt an intro post which i hate doing bc Dont look at me

like literally pockets of fluid that feel like a waterbed. ON MY SCALP. it scares me and my WBC is always high. fibro doesnt cause that bc its not an inflammatory disease. so im like ??????? what is it

i dont even get headaches anymore. its just a full blown migraine and all my lymph nodes swell. not sure if its normal for them to do that, but ive had a problem w my lymph nodes since i was a child. my doctors always brushed it off when i would ask, even now. and it takes FOREVER to drain them.

good morning everyone im pissing blood and not in a period way 😃

watching this fight rn idk wtf going on

deep diving into ethel cains lore is more terrifying than any horror film i have ever watched

all urgent cares are like this bro. i had an infection and literally made them feel my LARGE AND SWOLLEN lymph nodes in my neck, face, and throat and they told me to take ibuprofen. FOR AN INFECTION.