Retsuslaire

*harem of minions, but from despicable me

I want my friends to know that I love them dearly, I really do. I just don't see a good ending to all of this. Sorry.

Fast forward over a decade and a half later and I'm still here, still living this dreadful life in terror of my own shadow, eaten from the inside by anxiety and anguish every day. It never got better, sometimes it just doesn't.

When I was 14 I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't live past 18 years. And why would I? All I've ever known is mental anguish and abandon, it's not like this life had ever showed me any redeeming thing, any single thread of hope from which I could hang safely.

I rarely speak up about myself, I don't like to put my problems under a limelight. I've been fighting against my own mind for so long I've almost lost track, but I've been under psychiatric therapy for over a decade now and things never seem to improve, on the contrary, it all seems to get worse.

This is treated as a big reveal, a punch in your guts that's supposed to make you feel for him. The episode came out in 2011, I was 16 when I watched it. I remember stopping in my track and going: "wait, people are supposed to be happy..?"

I think this is where I realized things were really bad.

I remember this one South Park episode where the main character, Stan, develops depression and it sorta landslides into his whole family breaking apart. At some point Stan's parents are fighting and his father, Randy, when asked why he's acting strange and desperate, responds: "because I'm unhappy".

𝕽𝖔𝖔𝖙𝖘.
𝔜𝔬𝔲'𝔳𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔢.
────
#mlp #oc #rottengotika

2017 #pony #grimdark

pony experiment

#mlp #grimdark

@jargonscott.bsky.social daily #twiggie haunting

Eclipse - portrait of Princess Luna

Just found out my Twitter account has limitations attributed to it and is possibly shadowbanned. Hooray. I am making bsky my main hub, but I only have a small audience here, would you kindly help a brother out and spread the word? I'm a grimdark pony artist and make fine art inspired artwork.

real

Back on my birthday I had received no gifts, so I decided to make a gift for somebody else instead. A little something for
@sileanimus.bsky.social

Speedpainting process

Crossing
(inspired by Sicioldr)

All my art as Retsuslaire from my archives, since 2011. Includes doodles, wips and experimentations. Themes explored range mostly between grimdark, gore and ponies. Most of it is bad and some of it is unfinished, enjoy!
sites.google.com/view/retsuslaire-art

I should really make some kind of archive of my art shouldn't I

Caged

Caustice!!

🤌*meatballs

*gasps*
I'm flabbergasted

Quick doodle

Today I purchased and tried Escape Motions Rebelle 7 and for the first time in months (maybe years) I had a lot of fun painting and totally enjoyed the process all the way through. I might have found my new favorite painting software.

Pretty quadrupedal herbivorous equine mammals

Being dead doesn't stop them from being pretty

All the pretty horses are dead

Find Cadance

Equestrian Teat