Cpt. Jean Luc Discard

Spotted in Waterstones

Noel: Tommy Robinson! Now what's your approach to Soverignty week?
Tommy: I'm making a sponge but with British ingredients.
N: The sugar's from Brazil, Tommy.
[Tommy glares at the packet, empties the sugar into a bowl, performativly walks outside and lobs it while Kier applauds his right to protest]

Alison: Next we've got leader of the opposition, not you Kemi [Kemi smiles but clearly dead inside] Nigel Farrage!
Nigel: Im going to be making a British classic, triffle, with cigarette cream, ale custard, fish jam, and German Stolen.
A: That doesn't sound very British
N: The fish and bullshit are

First up is the current leader of the Labour party, Kier Starmer.
Noel: So Kier, what are you making for your signature.
Kier: This week im baking my Dissatisfaction Souffle, no flavour, inoffensive, will collapse under pressure.
Noel: That's bold!
Kier: I hope not, don't want to be devisive.

Alison: This week its Soverignty week. That's right, the tastiest of political jargon whipped up into an ahistoric, afactual hot mess. But who can capitalise on over a decade of post brexit resentment and deliver on the goods? Let's see what our our contestants are up to for their signature!

Opening shot of a marquee, draped with bunting. Nole: Hello and welcome to Make Off, where we'll be exchanging the flour and icing for broken promises and flat pints. Can our contestants restore a faded empire, or will the only thing to crumble be their plans? Welcome to the Make Britain Great Off!

Musk to UK far right: "fight back, or die"
How is this not an insightment to violence...

Since the UK far-right are so concerned that white people will become a minority, surely they'd be invested in protecting the ECHR so they don't get put in concentration camps, or whatever it is they're afraid of.

Isn't it ironic that 'isn't it ironic' contains no examples of irony.

Remember folks, if your variable doesn't make sense as a negative value, you should be using unsigned int.

I got an integer overflow on Slay the Spire, and it totally broke combat until I overflowed it back to a positive number.

Cut out the middleperson. Just drink Absolute Vodka, they've probably got a cabbage flavour.

Linux vs. Windows Newline character?

If a tree falls in a forest and only an AI model trains off it does it make a sound?

Githubs down. Take the rest of the day off folk!

Sounds like a plan

JFC, how much would you be happy paying for the fire brigade?!

The fire brigade have early retirement is because the're unionised. Nothing to do with them being a public service...

They cost the UK less than 4 billion last year, ending early retirement is hardly going to save billions you plumb!

Do you don't know how much it costs, or what you be happy to pay for it?

Are you arguing that because you have no idea what they do it's a failed service? Can you name a for-profit company who does a better service? I have used them at work one but I don't actually work on a boat...

But how much should it cost? Can you say how much you'd be happy to pay for a fire service?

How much should the fire brigade cost a nation? More roadside assistance guys dying is not necessarily an indication that the work is more dangerous, but that their employers are not doing an adequate job of protecting them like... the fire service does...

Hydrographic office

MOD

NHS

Fire brigade

Intersex people are as common as redheads, so claiming 'women can't have penises' or 'men can't have ovaries' is as absurd as denying the existence of redheads.

Starting 2025 being crystal clear

Me learning some basic music: A minor and C major have the exact same notes?! What kind of god would allow that?!

Could have been uncritically adored for the next 100 years but instead chose hatred.

Watched The Polar Express this Christmas... that film is an edit away from being an Elderich Horror Masterpiece