Radd

Is there any food at McDonald’s that you NEED teeth to eat?

My theory is that the whole menu was designed for toothlessness.

In our polarized new reality it’s increasingly exhausting to make any sort of statement about the state of things without inviting a chorus of naysayers and clowns into your feed.

Still, one steadfast truth remains for all.

1. Linkedin is insufferable.

I really value and respect the platform and opportunity I have here to influence public sentiment, with my 47 followers.

I wield this carefully.

New scariest Black Mirror idea.

Just a regular mirror.

I’ll tread on you.

Can we stop being outraged and just start squashing these bugs?

Am I the only one that finds myself fighting with autocorrect much more often these days?

It’s the wrongest it has ever been and changes my sentences with a destructive, frustrating, and humorless editorial agenda.

I miss the simpler days when “ducking” was the worst autocrime we could imagine.

Ever since you saw that video of the woman pronouncing it “mecrowahvay”, have you also been pronouncing it that way?

I can’t even remember what we used to call those things.

In the spirit of compromise, we should be terrible too.

Don’t start a podcast, start a band.

“Flushable” is a fictional marketing term that was invented to sell wipes, not an actual state of being.

Every banana you eat feels like a logistical miracle.

Waiting for Nirvana to call me up next time they wanna do one of these reunion shows.

When facing corruption charges, if trumps DOJ insists the charges be dropped, then any doubts about the legitimacy of those charges can also be dropped.

It legitimizes the charges even more concretely than an admission of guilt.

On average, how many weeks of playing the lottery does it take most players before they win the jackpot? I thought it would have happened by now but I keep losing.

Observation: everything trump blames on someone else is always squarely his fault. Everyone he says treats him unfairly is usually acting with honesty and in good faith.

What

What if profit isn’t the only thing that matters?

Only venture capital cockroaches and invertebros could survive.

I wonder how helpful our opinions are.

Could The Sphere make itself invisible?

Most classified-style-online-sales, for items that can vary in size and where specific details about the sizing is crucial, contain ABSOLUTELY NO INFORMATION AT ALL about the sizing.

You say “It’s okay, I’ll just ask the seller what size it is!”

Then WOOWEE! The riddle begins!

It has been almost 10 years since I’ve smoked a cigarette, but the jolt of smug moral superiority I felt after switching to American Spirits is still living and flourishing within me.

What we think of as muscle spasms and twitches are actually caused by ghosts touching you.

If Jesus is real then explain to me how the Flintstones celebrated Christmas a million years before he was allegedly born? The fossil records from Bedrock proved all of this too. The math on Jesus doesn’t add up.

I think the drones are extra terrestrial. It’s finally happening.

Can’t get enough drones over _______ content. What an exciting time for us all to be in imminent danger probably.

In hindsight it feels foolish to have invested my entire life savings on Hawk Tuah coins.

Felt more like spamming Tuesday.

Name some situations where it’s a good strategy to surround yourself with a team of unqualified sycophant craven scumbags?