Elijah Zarlin's Avatar

Elijah Zarlin

@elijahion.bsky.social

If dad jokes were funny, they’d just be called jokes. Digital at @yellowdotstudios.bsky.social Believe the sun exists.

105 Followers  |  177 Following  |  79 Posts  |  Joined: 16.10.2023  |  2.1586

Latest posts by elijahion.bsky.social on Bluesky

Preview
Opinion | Why Mamdani Frightens Jews Like Me

Is it cause he doesn't like bedbugs, Bret Stephens?

"A good place to start is to concede that nothing in the public record suggests Mamdani is antisemitic" Ok cool, good talk, bedbug!

22.10.2025 17:45 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Text exchange with Mark Kelly’s campaign:

MK:
This is a text message from Mark Kelly. Is there anything I can say to convince you to chip in to my campaign before our deadline tomorrow? The amount isn't important, it's the donation itself that really matters. Pls. Link here: https://g.ive.blue/RfQg63wP 

Reply STOP to opt out

Me:
I've got $100 for: "I will vote to ban fracking on public lands, end oil subsidies, and stop sending arms and aid to Israel"

MK:
You are now unsubscribed from Mark Kelly for Senate alerts and will receive no further messages.

Text exchange with Mark Kelly’s campaign: MK: This is a text message from Mark Kelly. Is there anything I can say to convince you to chip in to my campaign before our deadline tomorrow? The amount isn't important, it's the donation itself that really matters. Pls. Link here: https://g.ive.blue/RfQg63wP Reply STOP to opt out Me: I've got $100 for: "I will vote to ban fracking on public lands, end oil subsidies, and stop sending arms and aid to Israel" MK: You are now unsubscribed from Mark Kelly for Senate alerts and will receive no further messages.

Lol was it something I said @captmarkkelly.bsky.social?

22.10.2025 02:56 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Preview
Contributor: As Trump's reign implodes, tell MAGA 'I told you so' Treat Trumpists like adults and confront them with how wrong they have been. Americans who are still connected to reality owe it to their right-wing neighbors to be honest.

“I told you so” to MAGA, sure. But also “I told you so” to all the Dems whose answer to rising corporate corruption and inequality and extremism was to run screaming from the progressive policies and pols that are actually popular.

08.10.2025 19:54 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Text message :

PLEASE LISTEN CLOSELY:
We're stunned. We're SO EXCITED...
...because something AMAZING is happening in Congress!
Top Democrats are joining forces to pass the Constitutional Amendment to end Citizens United and ban Donald Trump's Dark Money forever!
Adam Schiff
Amy Klobuchar
Elizabeth Warren
Chuck Schumer
Raphael Warnock
Before our strict 11:59 PM deadline, rush a 400%-MATCHED donation to stop Citizens United's 15 year era of corruption. We're counting on every Good Democrat like you to make this Constitutional Amendment a reality before Trump can stop it!

Text message : PLEASE LISTEN CLOSELY: We're stunned. We're SO EXCITED... ...because something AMAZING is happening in Congress! Top Democrats are joining forces to pass the Constitutional Amendment to end Citizens United and ban Donald Trump's Dark Money forever! Adam Schiff Amy Klobuchar Elizabeth Warren Chuck Schumer Raphael Warnock Before our strict 11:59 PM deadline, rush a 400%-MATCHED donation to stop Citizens United's 15 year era of corruption. We're counting on every Good Democrat like you to make this Constitutional Amendment a reality before Trump can stop it!

Text message cont:

We cannot miss this rare opportunity.
The MAGA Majority will do everything they can to crush this Constitutional Amendment.
But our Democrats are working across the aisle to make it a reality!
We're coming up on our final 11:59 PM deadline and ALL donations will be 400%-MATCHED! Rush anything you can to help us end Citizens United >> ffr.to/208
Let's do this, 
Fight for Reform

My reply:
PLEASE LISTEN CLOSELY: FUCK YOU SCAMPAC

You can 400% match my foot up your ass

Text message cont: We cannot miss this rare opportunity. The MAGA Majority will do everything they can to crush this Constitutional Amendment. But our Democrats are working across the aisle to make it a reality! We're coming up on our final 11:59 PM deadline and ALL donations will be 400%-MATCHED! Rush anything you can to help us end Citizens United >> ffr.to/208 Let's do this, Fight for Reform My reply: PLEASE LISTEN CLOSELY: FUCK YOU SCAMPAC You can 400% match my foot up your ass

Sure, on the one hand, Democratic Scam PACs are bad. But on the other, it’s where I get to do my sickest burns.

30.09.2025 02:34 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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You want some f*ckin cancel cultureDisney, you got it.

18.09.2025 16:14 — 👍 3    🔁 2    💬 2    📌 0
Text Screenshot from charliesmurderers.com:
“This is a permanent and continuously-updating archive of Radical activists calling for violence.

This is the largest firing operation in history.”

Text Screenshot from charliesmurderers.com: “This is a permanent and continuously-updating archive of Radical activists calling for violence. This is the largest firing operation in history.”

Lol. No pun intended I’m suuuuuure.

12.09.2025 23:09 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Must be more of that “radical left political violence” 🙄

11.09.2025 17:52 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Peter Beinart - "Being Jewish After the Destruction of Gaza: A Reckoning" | The Daily Show
YouTube video by The Daily Show Peter Beinart - "Being Jewish After the Destruction of Gaza: A Reckoning" | The Daily Show

I missed this last month but it’s a beautiful 20 min antidote to our prevailing rhetoric and blameless bullshit.

Two Jews and Americans talking thoughtfully about an atrocity and their own complicity in it. Yasher koach you menches.

11.09.2025 04:40 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

This headline under the tent that reads “Prove me wrong.” 👌

11.09.2025 02:33 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

And imagine being a kid and growing up with this as the public, forever legacy of your father. (Thread.) Bad parenting.

10.09.2025 23:18 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

As a fellow activist and more importantly, fellow father, I will say this about Charlie Kirk: He was a bad dad. Parents make decisions for our kids. His was a career supporting policies that data shows would make his kid's world more dangerous. I'm sure he loved his kids. But that's bad parenting.

10.09.2025 23:15 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Statistically speaking, it is possible that every MAGA dude has a tiny dick (below average, technically) and that certainly appears to be the case.

15.08.2025 01:02 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Statistically speaking, it is possible that every MAGA dude has a tiny dick (below average, technically) and that certainly appears to be the case

15.08.2025 01:02 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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These @actblueorg.bsky.social policy changes should do a lot to hamstring Mothership’s self-dealing scam PACS and the like. But these policies would have done more if they’s been enacted years ago. Mothership’s grift has been open and obvious for a long time.

07.08.2025 14:10 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Preview
Democrats Have Found Their Message—and Trump Is Freaking Out Zohran Mamdani and Elizabeth Warren know that this is the party’s best chance at taking back power in the 2026 midterm elections.

Uh, sorry @newrepublic.com but “Democrats” haven’t found their message just because Zohran and Warren (and Bernie for the last 40 years) get it.

If anything, “Democrats” have found the message they will try to shut down because it’s against their rich corporate bosses too.

07.08.2025 14:01 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

That's a butthole

04.08.2025 18:05 — 👍 524    🔁 79    💬 36    📌 2

To build anús NYC!

04.08.2025 18:21 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Oh yeah, so many NYC billionaires will up and relocate to…. Dallas. Suuuuure they will.

04.08.2025 16:07 — 👍 11    🔁 2    💬 1    📌 0

Yep. The tactics were developed within the party by the mothership dudes. And EVERY Dem donor has gotten countless texts from End Citizens United, Stop Republicans, etc - so OF COURSE party insiders know about these scam pacs, and that they are a self-dealing Mothership effort not legit campaigns.

04.08.2025 13:47 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Some (tho not me!) might find it uncomfortable to consider how many in the party have known about the fraudulent self-dealing but still employ or tacitly condone mothership. But there shouldn’t be anything uncomfortable about calling out Mothership for the hard numbers of what they have done.

03.08.2025 18:35 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

This is an uncomfortable, but necessary thread about how the Democratic consulting class is ripping off donors and enriching themselves in the process. And the one group in the middle of this disgusting and shameless money grab should surprise no one.

Mothership Strategies.

03.08.2025 17:44 — 👍 25    🔁 5    💬 5    📌 0

Thanks for this important research. This grift has been understood in Dem and consultant circles for years, but this is the most comprehensive analysis breaking down it’s scope.

03.08.2025 17:24 — 👍 117    🔁 5    💬 1    📌 0

The real scandal here is how deeply embedded Mothership is with the Democratic establishment. It was founded by DCCC alumni and continues to work closely with party leaders. It’s way worse than I thought. And it’s infuriating they continue to allow preying on people to enrich consultants.

03.08.2025 17:02 — 👍 1050    🔁 162    💬 19    📌 7
Preview
The Mothership Vortex: An Investigation Into the Firm at the Heart of the Democratic Spam Machine How a single consulting firm extracted $282 million from a network of spam PACs while delivering just $11 million to actual campaigns.

“How a single consulting firm extracted $282 million from a network of scam pacs while delivering just $11 million to actual campaigns.”

By being shitty fucking humans is how.

03.08.2025 17:01 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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This. This. This. Schumer. Jeffries. Harris. Schiff. Etc.

Props to @rbreich.bsky.social for saying this obvious fact out loud.
www.democraticunderground.com/100220516042

28.07.2025 03:43 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Episode 1 of Untamed is enjoyable on the gifted/troubled Eric Bana front, but you have to endure a lot of flagrant Yosemite (and climbing) BS. It’s so obviously not Yosemite, why not just have it take place somewhere they could film?

22.07.2025 04:23 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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My new spam text auto reply. Hope it helps!

17.07.2025 04:46 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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It’s not just this week, or this month, or Texas, or NYC…

Extreme weather events have been steadily increasing in the US for 45 years.

15.07.2025 18:49 — 👍 40    🔁 22    💬 5    📌 2
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I mean, Jesse Armstrong did think of this. And it was quite effective.

01.07.2025 19:38 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

This would be so bad that it will still decimate the GOP even assuming the Dem response is like a yawn, a nap, and Chuck Schumer launching a socks and ankles themed onlyfans

01.07.2025 04:37 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

@elijahion is following 20 prominent accounts