Lep, the Multiversal Explorer

"Hi! You have a snazzy uniform. Are you a space pirate?"

//Happy to see you, though I do know RL is always more important!

"'Ego', you say..."

C'mon, brain, gimme a cool line!

"Oh, I'm all too happy to test my confidence... empirically, my fair-yet-bitter lady."

...Nailed it. Or so he hopes.

"Allow me to demonstrate." He kisses her hand, hoping to make her own heart beat as fast as his.

//Lep's 'Federation' uses phasers, but doesn't have Star Trek transporters or replicators.

For one thing, using transporters OR replicators creatively would just flat-out break the setting and solve most problems easily, and I'm not trying to solve EVERY problem through OP gadgets.

"Weeelll, actually he's a different 'me' from the Mirror Universe."

Lep takes a bite of his own protein bar.

"From what I've gathered, HIS humanity is trying to rule the cosmos instead of cooperating with aliens. He reminds me of... me, just with too LITTLE self-consciousness and restraint."

I’m bored.

I wanna mess w people.

"I mean, if you're THAT eager for a hands-on demonstration..."

Where once he'd just taken careful glances, now his eyes sweep over her dress and figure.

"...as a guest, I would be MORE than pleased to show you. My hands are precise and..."

He glances at her skirt.

"...steady on the trigger."

//A punk musician from a Japanese visual novel acting casual with the leader of a cosmic time civilization from a British TV show.

Just another day on MVRP.

Carry on.

+ lighthouse.

"What can I say? Heavy artillery solves problems."

He stops himself from nerding out about the battlefield utility of fire support; he is going to just LEAN INTO THE DOUBLE ENTENDRE and NOT BLOW THIS thanks to his autism.

"Oh, and why exactly are you so curious?" A teasing smile.

One could call Lep dense, though he'd prefer to say that he's really, REALLY careful about reading hints. After all, plenty of guys have shot themselves in the foot by thinking the waitress was into them just because she was smiling politely.

This, though, was a green light brighter than Gatsby's +

+ whenever we're exploring the same universe."

Lep clenches his fist.

"...Let's just say I'd rather he stop existing."

"Ah!"

He flicks a switch, silencing his phaser.

"Yeah, that guy who looks kinda like me is my evil twin from the Mirror Universe. Basically, instead of a defensive multi-species federation like I have, he's working for an imperialist humanocentric empire."

He bites his lip.

"We cross paths +

//Whatever makes you comfortable, of course. Best of luck with IRL.

He snaps off a salute.

"A reasonable request. Though given how every Nikke has their own specialty weapons, and the humans are too squishy for the frontline, the extra regular guns feel kind of... well, extra."

At least on such a small scale, a community easily could share responsibilities.

+ Now you see that evil egg which just won't freaking go away?

"...and Disintegrate."

PSHEW! Now you don't.

"My phaser's got four main settings: Tickle..." He uses it as a laser pointer, sending several nearby cats all a-twitter.

"Stun..." He frightens off a Doro which was about to throw a pipe bomb at him.

"Kill..." He drills a sizzling hole through a target of his mirror self. +

He nods, briefly flashing his own sidearm.

"I can, though I prefer to use my phaser, as it doesn't need ammo and has a stun setting."

"...Not that I'm naive enough to hold back against Raptures, or anything else that NEEDS TO DIE."

That being said, he plonks himself down on the bed.

//All of this is semi-autobiographical, with Ormus standing in for the Roman Catholic religion. Besides the Pope trying to conquer the galaxy with a Zohar-powered beam cannon... as far as I know, anyway.

+ I used to feel like my mom nagged me a lot."

+ er, I mean 'speaking truth in love' to them."

Finger-quotes.

"Oh, and later I heard that the Patriarch also tried to conquer the galaxy by hooking up a Relic of God to an interstellar laser cannon. That wasn't RESPONSIBLE for my decision, but it sure as heck JUSTIFIED it."

"...Oh, and +

"Weeelllll..."

Deep breath.

"In my late-teens to early-20s, I'd joined the Ormus Church, a fanatical religion which taught total submission of the self to 'God' and a constant feeling of guilt for your sins. I left it after meeting enough aliens and LGBTQ+ folks that I couldn't justify my hate, +

"I tried!" s/he pouts. "But I tossed, turned, and slipped into a dream where my mom and the Patriarch of my old religion were yelling at me for being late for high school."

"...And I woke back up just as sleep-deprived. C'est la vie."

"Probably not enough!"

A thumbs-up at a 50-degree angle.

"I almost took my mech out of the hangar to single-handedly re-enact the plot of the Magical Girl vs. Skibidi Toilet space-opera setting I came up with in my head. But the guard on duty told me 'no'."

"...Meanie."

"Greetings and sa-lu-tations to the infinite cosmos!"

Lep tries to rub the bags from his/her bloodshot eyes.

"Do women exist, or are they a figment of my imagination? Some great collective myth? Because if women exist, then maybe lesbians exist. And I'm not sure if I'm ready to process that."

"...I will NOT ask any further questions."

He keeps his eyes fixed at the floor, muttering 'don't stick it in crazy' like a monk chanting the rosary.

+ "Alrighty! What's the first stop on our tour, and what will be my accommodations?"

He glances around the immediate area for anything worth making conversation about, making sure to avoid anyone who looks like an 'Isabel'.